MARCH 18, 1942

Full News Archive

• Headline: Investigation of Guthrie Charges Initiated. Impact: The appointment of O'Brian to investigate Guthrie charges led to a series of bureaucratic hoops that eventually resulted in an entire department dedicated to investigating paperwork. Yes, that's right, the ultimate evolution of 'paper trails' began here, leading to the modern-day office worker's struggle with endless forms. Fact: Did you know that O'Brian's first name was actually 'J', which stands for 'Just Another Bureaucrat'?.
• Headline: Westchester Gains Defense Equipment Priority. Impact: Prioritizing defense equipment for Westchester areas led to a dramatic increase in local pride, which eventually inspired a reality show about the daily lives of overzealous defense equipment enthusiasts. Spoiler alert: the drama is riveting. Fact: Fun fact: 'OCD' in this context stands for 'Overly Complicated Defense'.
• Headline: Warns Congress on Overwork. Impact: Dr. Calver's warning about overwork in Congress resulted in lawmakers adopting an unofficial 'Nap Time' policy that, while well-intentioned, turned into an all-out snooze fest, leading to many legendary napping moments in American politics. Fact: Rumor has it, some Congress members still use those nap hours to plot their next grandstanding moments.
• Headline: Welles Sees All Treated Alike. Impact: Welles’ vision for equality led to the establishment of a 'Universal Treatment Plan', which ultimately devolved into the 'Everyone Gets a Participation Trophy' phenomenon we see today. Thanks, Welles!. Fact: Ortiz, who visited Welles, later claimed that they only talked about the best spots for tacos in town.
• Headline: NAZIS JAIL FRENCH AFTER R.A.F. RAIDS; Many Sympathizers in Paris and Women Protesting Peril Reported Seized BOMBS LEFT WIDE HAVOC Witness Says British 'Mystery' Explosive Spread Civilian Toll in Broad Area. Impact: The jailing of French sympathizers after RAF raids caused a wave of underground resistance movements, which would inspire countless action movies featuring heroic protagonists who refuse to comply with authority. Thanks for the trope, Nazis!. Fact: The term 'civilian toll' was first coined here, but it wasn’t until Hollywood that it became a box office hit.
• Headline: 50% AIRPLANE RISE REPORTED BY NELSON; He Warns Three-Month Gain Is Not Enough -- K.T. Keller Asked to Head Output NELSON REPORTS 50% PLANE RISE. Impact: Nelson’s report on airplane production led to a sudden surge in aviation enthusiasm, inspiring thousands to take up model airplane crafting. This would later culminate in the great 'Paper Airplane Wars' of the 1950s. Fact: K.T. Keller’s leadership role in output led to the creation of the 'Keller Scale', which humorously ranks airplane production by the number of paper cuts incurred.
• Headline: 3,485 FIRST NUMBER; All Night Is Required for Drawing That Affects 9,000,000 Men USE IN NAVY IS URGED Hershey Also Suggests Assigning Some Labor for War Projects Third Selective Service Drawing Proceeds In Washington; 9,000,000 Men Affected. Impact: The first selective service drawing impacted nearly 9 million men, leading to an explosion of conspiracy theories about how numbers were drawn. This would eventually inspire a reality show titled 'Lottery: The Real War'. Fact: Stimson's first number drawn was 3,485, which later became a popular lottery number—though it wasn't as lucky as people hoped.
• Headline: TAXPAYERS SEEN 'GIVING AXIS HELL'; Pedrick Calls $250,000,000 Collection in 2d District a 'Spring Offensive' CHINESE UNITS 'GET IT UP' Tax Receipts Are Necessary for Good Standing, So Members 'Jack' Incomes and Pay. Impact: Taxpayer contributions during this 'Spring Offensive' meant a significant increase in government funding, which led to the development of many questionable projects, including a bridge to nowhere. Thanks, Pedrick!. Fact: The phrase 'Giving Axis Hell' was later adopted by a band, but it was a total flop because, you know, marketing.
• Headline: SETS BUILDING RECORD; Union, N.J., Reports 1941 Was Best Construction Year. Impact: Union, N.J.'s best construction year led to the creation of the 'Best Construction Year' award, which has been awarded every year since, despite no one knowing how to precisely measure 'best'. Fact: 1941 was also the year when union members first argued over who could call dibs on the best coffee machine in the break room.