NOVEMBER 20, 1941

Full News Archive

• Headline: Vichy Establishes Legion as Sole Political Party. Impact: By establishing the Legion as the sole party, Vichy France inadvertently inspired a future generation of reality TV, where denouncing opponents became a spectator sport. Who knew the Nazis were just ahead of their time in promoting drama?. Fact: The Legion’s motto could have been 'If you can't beat them, just get them kicked out instead.'.
• Headline: New Intellectual Center for the Americas. Impact: This conference led to the eventual creation of 'Dude, Where's My Intellectual Center?' – a reality show where academics compete to become the next big thing in cultural exports. Spoiler: They never do.. Fact: The idea of obligatory teaching of Spanish, English, French, and Portuguese was so ambitious that it made some wonder if they were trying to create a universal translator before Star Trek made it cool..
• Headline: NAZI TROOPS LACK WOOL, BRITISH SAY; London Ministry of Economic Warfare Hails Success of Two Years of Blockade. Impact: The lack of wool led to a fashion crisis in the Nazi uniforms that had ripple effects through the 1940s, inspiring a trend of 'wool-free' military chic that some historians believe contributed to the rise of post-war leisurewear.. Fact: Who knew that a shortage of wool could affect military strategy? Maybe they should have just gone for cotton – much more breathable in the trenches!.
• Headline: N.C.W.C. BOARD ELECTED; Archbishop Mooney Again Is Head of Administrative Group. Impact: Archbishop Mooney’s re-election likely set off a chain of events that eventually led to the phenomenon of 'lifetime leadership positions' – a trend that we still see in various organizations today.. Fact: Being re-elected repeatedly must have been like winning a really boring lottery, except you just had to keep showing up for meetings instead of cashing a check..
• Headline: ORDERS OPEN EARLY ON SPRING APPAREL; Lines Offered 2 Weeks Before 1940 Date -- Southern and Coast Stores Start Buying. Impact: This premature shopping frenzy eventually resulted in the modern-day phenomenon of ‘Black Friday,’ where shoppers storm stores like it’s the Hunger Games – may the odds be ever in your favor.. Fact: Opening orders two weeks early was probably the fashion world’s way of saying, 'We can’t wait for spring, so let’s confuse everyone with seasonal whiplash!'.
• Headline: JAPANESE ENVOYS STILL AWAIT WORD; Fail to Meet With Hull While Without New Instructions From Tokyo Government PEPPER SOUNDS WARNING Senator Says Japan Must Get Out of China and Indo-China if She Wants Peace With Us. Impact: The delays in communication likely triggered a series of diplomatic blunders that could have been easily solved with a simple group chat. The subsequent diplomatic history was thus riddled with misunderstandings and missed opportunities.. Fact: It’s almost poetic how waiting for instructions can lead to massive global conflict. If only they had just sent a text instead!.
• Headline: REBUFF TO SCHMIDT BY TURKS REPORTED; Nazi Press Chief Failed in Mission, Diplomats Say as He Starts Home. Impact: Schmidt’s failure to sway the Turks may have led to a future where diplomatic missions are more like awkward first dates – full of hope but often ending in silence and rejection.. Fact: It’s hard to believe that a Nazi press chief could fail at persuasion. Who would have thought that hard sales tactics don’t work in diplomacy?.
• Headline: Press Is Conciliatory. Impact: The conciliatory tone of the Japanese press foreshadowed a future where media outlets would try to be 'friendly' to audiences while still serving up sensationalism. Welcome to modern media!. Fact: When the press is conciliatory, it’s like your friend trying to soften the blow of bad news with a cupcake. Spoiler: the cupcake is still stale..