NOVEMBER 13, 1941

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fordham Freshmen Host Inaugural Dinner. Impact: This dinner sparked a chain reaction of campus social events, eventually leading to the invention of the keg stand and the modern-day college party. Who knew that carbs could change the course of collegiate history?. Fact: Fun fact: 'Freshmen dinner' is actually code for 'Let’s see who can survive the most awkward small talk until dessert!'.
• Headline: Army Orders Light Aircraft for Testing. Impact: These small planes paved the way for the future of aerial delivery pizza. Imagine if they had decided to test them with hot wings instead of war games—dinner would have been way more interesting!. Fact: Spoiler alert: the Army's idea of a 'war game' is vastly different from what you and your buddies call a game night with Monopoly and a few drinks..
• Headline: Article 6 -- No Title. Impact: The lack of a title caused a panic among historians, leading them to believe that it might have contained the secrets to the universe. Spoiler: it was probably just another boring bureaucratic recommendation.. Fact: In a world full of titles, the unnamed Article 6 stands as a testament to the idea that sometimes, less is more—especially when it comes to government paperwork..
• Headline: Distillery Strike Affects 1,500. Impact: This strike created a ripple effect that led to nationwide cocktail shortages, forcing people to rediscover the joy of drinking water. Thus, the hydration revolution was born!. Fact: Here’s a thought: if the distillery workers had just agreed to work for free drinks, they might have avoided the strike altogether. Just saying!.
• Headline: 2 TURKISH MINISTERS RESIGN FROM CABINET; They Are Replaced and Crisis Is Discounted by Observers. Impact: The sudden resignation created a vacuum that allowed for the rise of a new political philosophy: 'If at first you don’t succeed, resign!' This philosophy has since swept the world, leading to endless political drama.. Fact: It's always fun to watch politicians resign—it's like a game of musical chairs, but the music is just the sound of people trying to spin the narrative..