MAY 1, 1941

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tragic End for Congressman Folger. Impact: Had A.D. Folger survived, he might have single-handedly convinced Congress to pass a bill mandating all politicians wear helmets during speeches. Just think of all the ridiculous laws we could have avoided!. Fact: A.D. Folger was known for his charming speeches. It's rumored that he could make a discussion about tax reform sound like a Shakespearean drama..
• Headline: Furniture Sales Trends in 1940. Impact: The decline in furniture profits led to a momentous decision by furniture designers to create ‘invisible chairs,’ which are now a staple of modern art museums. Thanks for that, big stores!. Fact: The National Retail Furniture Association's reports are so riveting they’ve become the go-to material for insomniacs everywhere..
• Headline: President Orders Navy Ship Pooling. Impact: This order to commandeer ships led to an impromptu game of Battleship among Congress members, where instead of sinking ships, they sank their chances of ever playing sea-themed games again in peace.. Fact: Roosevelt's orders were so influential that they led to a national shortage of ship puns – the only thing less funny than a dad joke about boats..
• Headline: STRIKE CURB BILL PUSHED IN HOUSE; Rules Committee, in 6-5 Vote, Gives Right of Way to the Vinson Mediation Plan. Impact: The strike curb bill's passage set a precedent for all future Congresses to think they could actually control the workforce, leading to the creation of the world’s first ‘workplace motivational poster’ – which ironically said: 'You can’t control us!'. Fact: The Vinson Mediation Plan was so popular that it was later adapted into a reality TV show where politicians mediate between angry unions and management. Spoiler: No one ever wins..
• Headline: NAZI FLIERS TAKEN OFF AMERICAN SHIP; Canadian Auxiliary Cruiser Halts the Garfield Near Hawaii and Seizes Four. Impact: The capture of Nazi fliers off the American ship led to a series of unfortunate events, including a global shortage of aviator sunglasses as they were deemed too trendy for spies.. Fact: The Canadian auxiliary cruiser, Prince Robert, was so named because 'Prince Cool' was already taken by a pop star of the time..
• Headline: BUSINESS NOTES. Impact: C.B. Morgan's resignation led to a chain reaction where the corporate world collectively decided that 'business notes' should be more about gossip and less about finances. Thanks, C.B.!. Fact: Business notes are often so dull that if you read them during a meeting, your colleagues will think you're either meditating or plotting world domination..
• Headline: NYLON HOSIERY PUT AT 17-20% OF TOTAL; Constantine Revises Downward Earlier Estimates on '41 Shipments to Stores. Impact: The revised estimates on nylon shipments sparked a fashion revolution, leading to the creation of the first 'Nylon Society,' where members gathered to discuss the virtues of stretchy tights.. Fact: Nylon was initially marketed as the material that could make a woman feel like a superhero. Except, you know, without the actual superpowers..
• Headline: REDS ALONE TO HOLD MAY PARADE TODAY; Most Unions Call It Communist Demonstration and Refuse to Join Celebration REDS ALONE TO HOLD MAY PARADE TODAY. Impact: The May Day parade led to a secret society of Reds who believed they could take over the world with better parades, which accidentally resulted in more colorful floats and fewer serious discussions about labor rights.. Fact: The parade was so exclusive that they considered charging admission, but decided it was more fun to just keep it a secret club with a password..