APRIL 27, 1941

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rumania Bombing Campaign Proposal. Impact: If Britain had bombed Rumanian fields, it's possible that Rumania would have developed a world-class crop of revenge, leading to an international treaty that guarantees all crops grow *only* in peace, thus avoiding World War III. Or, you know, just more wars. But peace sounds nicer.. Fact: The urge to bomb fields has been a spectacularly bad idea throughout history. Just ask the farmers!.
• Headline: Strengthening Japan-Germany Relations in 1941. Impact: By strengthening ties with Germany, Japan inadvertently set off a chain reaction leading to the invention of sushi served on a German beer stein. Next thing you know, Oktoberfest is a culinary showdown!. Fact: In a parallel universe, the Axis powers ended up creating a fusion cuisine that included bratwurst sushi. You're welcome..
• Headline: CAPT. ROOSEVELT IN CHINA; Welcomed at Hong Kong on Way to See Gen. Chiang. Impact: Capt. Roosevelt's visit to China could have been the start of a new diplomatic dance-off, where nations resolve their issues with interpretive dance instead of war. Imagine the possibilities!. Fact: Roosevelt was known for his charisma; if only he had brought a boombox along with him, we might have seen the first international dance battle!.
• Headline: CHINESE MINIMIZE JAPAN'S BLOCKADE; Spokesman Says Coastal Attack in Chekiang and Fukien Has Larger Objective LINKS IT TO DRIVE PLANS Cities Also Wanted as Bases to Thwart Possible Raids Against Japan Herself. Impact: China's minimization of Japan's blockade might have led to a bizarre alternate timeline where Japan's blockade was so ineffective, it inspired the world's first 'coastal attack beach party'—complete with surfboards and tiki torches.. Fact: In the world of military strategy, sometimes downplaying an enemy's capabilities can lead to them throwing the ultimate surprise party. Bring snacks!.
• Headline: RADIO NEWS AND GOSSIP. Impact: The inter-relation of radio news and gossip could have birthed the world’s first reality radio show, leading to a culture of gossip so rampant that it would make the Kardashians look like hermits.. Fact: Radio gossip is the original social media. Imagine the hashtags: #RadioDrama #WhoWoreItBetter.
• Headline: Pope to Receive Tittman Soon. Impact: Pope receiving Tittman could have led to an unexpected alliance that resulted in the Vatican becoming a diplomatic powerhouse, mediating disputes with the power of divine intervention—or at least some really good wine.. Fact: Popes have been known to host some of the best parties in history, often involving miraculous appetizers. Who knew divine intervention could taste so good?.
• Headline: Nazi Ship Ready to Quit Brazil. Impact: If the Nazi ship had successfully left Brazil, it could have sparked a new trend in shipping, leading to the first-ever ‘Nazi Cruise Line’—where the only thing more uncomfortable than the politics was the seating.. Fact: Nothing says 'we're sorry for our past' like a cruise. 'Join us for a lovely trip, complete with awkward conversations about history!'.
• Headline: MUSIC A LA CARTE; Mark Warnow Gives a Lesson for Would-Be Conductors in Explaining His Success. Impact: Mark Warnow’s lesson for would-be conductors might have inadvertently led to a wave of amateur orchestras that took over cities—imagine street corners filled with impromptu symphonies and confused pigeons.. Fact: Conducting isn’t just about waving a stick; it's also about fending off pigeons who think they can join the orchestra. Spoiler: they can’t..