APRIL 24, 1941

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mrs. Walters' Art and Book Auction. Impact: The sale of this Bible set off a chain reaction that led to the invention of the book club, which ultimately resulted in more people pretending to read than actually doing it. Thanks, Mrs. Walters!. Fact: Did you know that for the price of that Bible, you could have bought a decent used car? Guess people really have different priorities when it comes to 'holy' investments..
• Headline: Dr. Hester D. Jenkins' Legacy. Impact: Dr. Jenkins’ lectures inspired a generation of students who would go on to question why they even studied anything at all, leading to a global decline in the appreciation of the humanities.. Fact: Dr. Jenkins was so influential that even Google has a 'Hester D. Jenkins' search filter—just kidding, but wouldn’t that be something?.
• Headline: Eighty Germans Leave Panama. Impact: This mass exodus initiated a trend of Germans choosing more stable environments, inadvertently leading to the world's love affair with Oktoberfest in safer climates.. Fact: Eighty Germans leaving Panama sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, doesn't it? Spoiler: there's no punchline, just confusion..
• Headline: Chrysler to Make Anti-Air Guns. Impact: Chrysler’s pivot to anti-aircraft guns gave birth to the ‘If you can’t beat them, shoot at them’ philosophy, which still echoes through corporate boardrooms today.. Fact: Because nothing says 'family car' like the ability to shoot down enemy planes. Guess safety features have taken a dramatic turn!.
• Headline: CHIS RUSSELL, JOURNALIST, DIES; Refused Socialist Nomination for Presidency -Defeated Twice for Governor ' OPPOSED PARTY PACIFISTS Sent on War Mission to Russia by Wilson -Served as a Newspaper Editor. Impact: Chis Russell's refusal of the Socialist nomination led to a series of political missteps that eventually resulted in the election of someone who, well, let’s just say, didn’t help the situation.. Fact: Chis Russell was like the guy who shows up to the party and decides to leave before the fun starts—unfortunately, he never got to see how it all turned out..
• Headline: British Quicken Libyan Offensive; Take Captives in Tobruk Sorties; BRITISH OFFENSIVE IN LIBYA QUICKENS. Impact: The British offensive made waves that rippled through the decades, leading to a series of misunderstandings that could fill a library of diplomatic faux pas.. Fact: The British were so good at capturing Tobruk that it was unofficially declared a tourist destination—if by 'tourist' you mean 'enemy combatant.'.
• Headline: BOOKS OF THE TIMES. Impact: This column's existence contributed to the eventual rise of the modern book review, which has since evolved into a few stars and 'meh' comments on online platforms.. Fact: In a world full of bookworms, this headline reminds us that sometimes the most popular books are those we pretend to read just to seem smart..
• Headline: ASKS 2 1/2 BILLION FOR IDLE; Murray Tells President WPA Needs Thrice Sum in Budget. Impact: Murray’s request for funding set a precedent that led to generations of budget requests that would be the envy of corporate spenders everywhere.. Fact: Asking for billions is like asking for a second slice of cake—always a good idea until you realize you have to deal with the consequences later..