MARCH 21, 1941

Full News Archive

• Headline: Railroad Revenues Reach 11-Year High. Impact: The railroad's booming revenues led to an influx of investment in infrastructure, which eventually birthed the modern-day transportation system. If only those investors had known they were paving the way for traffic jams and overpriced tickets!. Fact: Did you know that the first railroad to operate in the U.S. was the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad? It didn't require a time machine to be a game changer; just a lot of coal and some questionable engineering!.
• Headline: Governor Cuts Armory Security Measures. Impact: Removing guards from armories made it easier for mischief-makers to 'borrow' military equipment. This eventually led to a series of action movies where the plot twist is always 'the government lost a tank!'. Fact: Did you know that in addition to being a governor, some of them have also dabbled in acting? It’s hard to tell if it’s politics or just a poorly scripted drama!.
• Headline: VANDALS DAMAGE ARMY BARRACKS; Desultory Acts of Sabotage at Fort Meade Are Laid to Discharged Workmen NAILS DRIVEN INTO CABLES Local Inquiry Shows Malice In Sawing Through Uprights, Breaking Glass and Fixtures. Impact: The vandalism at army barracks sparked a nationwide debate on the mental health of discharged workmen. This led to the creation of an entire genre of 'misunderstood veteran' films in Hollywood. Thanks, vandals!. Fact: Did you know that the act of vandalism can be traced back to ancient Rome? So really, we’ve just been perfecting it for centuries!.
• Headline: J.E. Skehan in New Post. Impact: The promotion of J.E. Skehan was the start of a nepotism dynasty that would haunt corporate America for decades. It’s amazing how one person's elevation can lead to an entire lineage of bad management decisions!. Fact: Did you know that corporate vice presidents are often referred to as 'Veeps'? Kind of sounds like a character from a bad sitcom, doesn't it?.
• Headline: OGDEN GOELET DIVORCED; Former Marie Zimbalist Obtains Decree at Reno. Impact: The divorce of Ogden Goelet marked the beginning of the rich and famous engaging in increasingly extravagant breakups. This eventually paved the way for reality TV, where the drama is just as important as the prenup.. Fact: Did you know that the average cost of a divorce today can rival a small country's GDP? Maybe they should just combine their assets and start a reality show instead!.
• Headline: 165 Children Aided at Nursery. Impact: The aid provided to 165 children at a nursery was a small step that would lead to an emphasis on early childhood education. Who knew that the future of the nation would hinge on snack time and nap schedules?. Fact: Did you know that the first nursery school was established in Germany in the 19th century? Talk about getting a head start on childhood drama!.
• Headline: Ships Warned of Test Mines. Impact: The Navy's warning about test mines inadvertently led to the creation of the 'Don't Step There!' tourism industry, which thrives on making the mundane sound perilous. Who knew that danger could be so profitable?. Fact: Did you know that mines have been used in warfare for centuries? But don't worry, step on a Lego and you can experience the same level of agony without the risk of sinking a ship!.
• Headline: R. HARRY CATHCART. Impact: R. Harry Cathcart's ascension to prominence was the catalyst for a series of forgettable corporate meetings that would lead to the invention of the coffee break—truly a legacy worth its weight in caffeine!. Fact: Did you know that most corporate meetings could be emails? But then, how else would we perfect the art of pretending to listen?.