MARCH 11, 1941

Full News Archive

• Headline: URGES ATTORNEYS TO SPUR DEFENSE; Jackson Tells Federal Aides It Is Country's 'No. 1 Problem of Law Enforcement' QUICK PROSECUTION ASKED 'Surest Antidote' for Illegal Acts Tagged as Needed, Conference Is Told. Impact: Jackson's push for better defense laws led to a convoluted series of legal loopholes that would ultimately result in the creation of an entire industry dedicated to legal advice for the confused and perplexed.. Fact: Atty Gen Jackson might have saved us from illegal acts, but he definitely didn’t save us from lawyers charging $500 an hour to explain the same laws he was trying to clarify..
• Headline: DIVORCE TO MRS. AUHAGEN; Wife of Man Indicted Here as Nazi Agent Gets Decree. Impact: The divorce of Mrs. Auhagen from her Nazi agent husband set off a chain reaction where other wives of dubious characters suddenly found the courage to leave their homes, leading to a surprising increase in self-help books and reality TV shows about relationships.. Fact: Funny how a divorce decree can lead to freedom, while also making the ex-husband's future love life a lot more complicated. Good luck dating after that!.
• Headline: Accused in $298,800 Shortage. Impact: The shortage in Coal Operators Casualty Co. led to an unexpected rise in the popularity of alternative energy sources, as people began to realize that maybe coal wasn’t the only game in town, causing a slight panic among coal miners who had never even heard of solar panels.. Fact: E Barfod and H E Van Buskirk probably thought they could just 'disappear' with the money, but little did they know, the internet was about to make them famous (or infamous) overnight..
• Headline: NAZIS TO REINFORCE FASCISTI IN ALBANIA; Will Send Air and Other Help Despite Italian Coolness to Plan, Washington Hears NAZIS TO REINFORCE FASCISTI IN ALBANIA. Impact: The Nazis reinforcing their fascist allies in Albania inadvertently sparked a trend of geopolitical alliances that would eventually lead to the creation of 'Team Axis' merchandise, complete with matching uniforms and secret handshakes.. Fact: While the Nazis thought they were being clever, they didn’t realize that their plans would inspire future generations of conspiracy theorists who would write entire books on how they almost took over the world..
• Headline: STATES LOSE POINT ON JOB INDUCE; Supreme Court Refuses Review of Indians Law on Firms Under Common Control HIGHER RAIL RATE UPHELD Lines Had Sought Lower One in Competition -- Labor Board Wins Westinghouse Case. Impact: The Supreme Court's decision on job induce led to a wave of confusion regarding employment contracts, inadvertently inspiring countless HR departments to create complicated jargon-filled documents that no one reads today.. Fact: If you think legal language is confusing now, just wait until you see what happens when lawyers start mixing it with corporate speak..
• Headline: Camrose Heir in Parliament. Impact: Capt S Berry’s election from Hitchin reminded politicians everywhere that sometimes, all it takes to be in Parliament is a catchy enough name and the ability to wave at the right moment.. Fact: Being elected to Parliament is like being voted 'Most Likely to Succeed' in high school, except with more drama and fewer prom dates..
• Headline: SEC DUE TO DIRECT ARMS PRICE CURB; Henderson Reported About to Be Made Chairman of Agency, Quit Defense Board FINANCE APPEAL PLANNED Action Is Taken to Check Cost Rise in Zinc and Secondary Brass and Copper. Impact: The SEC's intervention in arms pricing led to a long-term battle over military spending, which ironically paved the way for countless memes about government budget meetings that still haunt us today.. Fact: Roosevelt’s plans may have curbed prices, but they also provided fodder for comedians for decades to come. Who knew budget meetings could be so entertaining?.