DECEMBER 9, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Major Song Transfer to BMI in 1940. Impact: The transfer of songs led to a massive increase in radio popularity, which inadvertently created thousands of DJ jobs. These DJs would later become the bane of every family road trip—thanks a lot, E.B. Marks!. Fact: 15,000 songs is approximately the number of times you've heard 'Wonderwall' at a bar—thank you, A.S.C.A.P.!.
• Headline: CAMPAIGN MAPPED FOR EQUAL RIGHTS; National Woman's Party Will Carry It to the Country by Stage, Screen and Radio WILL BESIEGE CONGRESS Starting With Delaware, Each State Delegation Faces Week of Pressure for Amendment. Impact: This campaign set off a chain reaction of activism that would eventually lead to the inclusion of women in every aspect of society—except for the boardroom, where they still seem to be perpetually on hold.. Fact: The National Woman's Party made lobbying an art form long before it was fashionable—take that, Instagram influencers!.
• Headline: Rumania Promises Reich 3,000,000 Oil Tons in '4l. Impact: This oil promise set off a geopolitical domino effect, indirectly leading to the invention of the world's first GPS system—because who wouldn't want to avoid driving through a war zone?. Fact: Rumania's oil deal was like making a deal with the devil, except this time the devil really needed gas money..
• Headline: QUEENS MAN KILLED AS AUTO OVERTURNS; Table-Tennis Player Is Victim --Jersey Woman, 81, Dies. Impact: This tragic incident led to increased safety regulations for all sports, which inadvertently paved the way for the creation of bubble-wrap suits for athletes—because safety first, right?. Fact: Table tennis is a lot more dangerous than it sounds; just ask the poor guy who couldn’t serve his way out of that accident..
• Headline: DEFENSE LEADERS DRAFT PRICE CURBS; Commission Prepares Executive Orders as a Means of Halting Inflationary RisesLEGISLATION IS IN VIEWSurvey of Executive PowersPoints to Need for Useof Indirect Controls. Impact: The price curbs set off a frenzy of price gouging that would eventually inspire a new game show: 'Inflation Survivor—Who Can Find the Cheapest Milk?'. Fact: Drafting price curbs is like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube—good luck with that!.
• Headline: Three Deer Poachers Fined. Impact: The fines imposed on these poachers led to a massive increase in wildlife protection laws, ultimately resulting in the deer forming their own union to negotiate better living conditions—because why not?. Fact: Three poachers fined? Sounds like a bad joke, but at least the deer got a good laugh!.