DECEMBER 7, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Evelyn Combs' Winter Wedding. Impact: Evelyn Combs' marriage set off a chain reaction of wedding bells, leading to an explosion of cake flavors throughout the 1940s. The wedding cake industry was never the same, sparking a short-lived 'fruitcake' renaissance!. Fact: Did you know that marriage was once considered a punishment in certain cultures? Guess Evelyn didn't get that memo!.
• Headline: W.W. Aldrich Receives St. Nicholas Medal. Impact: Aldrich's medal ceremony inadvertently inspired a secret society of bankers who believed they could control the world through charity events. Spoiler alert: they couldn't.. Fact: Did you know 'fifth columnists' is just a fancy way of saying 'people who won't stop talking at parties'?.
• Headline: Greek Society Acquires Brooklyn Clubhouse. Impact: This purchase inadvertently set off a trend of clubs buying up property, leading to the Brooklyn real estate crisis of 2042 where every building became a themed bar.. Fact: Fun fact: Clubhouses are just adult treehouses without the trees! Who needs nature when you have a bar?.
• Headline: WOMAN WITNESS GONE, INDICTMENT DROPPED; Dismissal of Man an Echo of Seabury Vice Inquiry. Impact: The dismissal of this indictment created a loophole that allowed countless shady characters to slip through the legal cracks for decades, sparking a boom in detective fiction.. Fact: The Seabury Inquiry was so scandalous that it made the average soap opera look like a nature documentary!.
• Headline: Alpha Delta Phi Wins Cup. Impact: The Alpha Delta Phi fraternity's victory sparked a rivalry that would lead to the creation of the 'Fraternity Olympics'—a series of competitions that included everything from beer pong to extreme procrastination.. Fact: Winning a cup in college is basically a rite of passage to a lifetime of unpaid internships and existential crises!.
• Headline: NEW DAVEGA STORE OPENS; Lyons Cuts Tape at Ceremonies at Building in Bronx. Impact: The opening of the new Davega store marked the beginning of retail therapy as a legitimate coping mechanism, leading to the rise of impulse buying as a national pastime.. Fact: Did you know that 'cutting the tape' is just a fancy way of saying 'we're open for business; please give us your money!'?.
• Headline: JOIN DRIVE TO EASE REALTY TAX LOAD; New Jersey Brokers Form Unit of Taxpayers' Conference to Revise the System 2% LIMIT URGED IN STATE Plan Would Save Owners $128,000,000 Yearly, Says Convention Speaker. Impact: This drive led to a legendary battle between real estate brokers and tax collectors that resulted in the creation of the first 'Taxpayers' Olympics.' Spoiler alert: it was just a bunch of people arguing.. Fact: Did you know that taxes are just the government’s way of reminding you that you can't keep all your money? Thanks, Uncle Sam!.