NOVEMBER 21, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: St. Louis Girl Wins Juilliard Scholarship. Impact: This little girl's victory led to an unforeseen increase in the number of aspiring musicians from St. Louis, resulting in the city becoming the unlikely hub of avant-garde kazoo orchestras by 2025.. Fact: Did you know that winning a Juilliard scholarship instantly qualifies you to be the most pretentious person at any dinner party?.
• Headline: Cochrane Estate Inheritance Surprise. Impact: This estate's hefty price tag led to a bizarre trend of people naming their homes after their bank accounts, resulting in an entire neighborhood being dubbed 'The Millionaire's Mental Breakdown.'. Fact: Fun fact: If you add up all the estate's value with the average cost of a cappuccino in 1941, you still can't afford a decent cup of coffee today..
• Headline: Petain Takes Control of French Budget. Impact: Petain's control over the budget resulted in a series of questionable financial decisions that not only bankrupted the nation but also inspired a generation of bad reality TV shows about financial advice.. Fact: Did you know that Petain's budgeting skills are still being analyzed today, primarily as a cautionary tale in economics classes?.
• Headline: ALUMNAE AT HUNTER ARE GUESTS AT FETE; Many Visit New Park Avenue Building for First Time. Impact: This event sparked a chain reaction of alumni gatherings across the country, leading to the establishment of a new holiday, National Pretentious Reunion Day, celebrated annually with overpriced hors d'oeuvres.. Fact: Did you know that 'fete' is French for 'party' and also translates to 'an excuse for alumni to brag about their kids' Ivy League acceptances'?.
• Headline: Italian Envoy in Nicaragua. Impact: This diplomatic visit created an unexpected Italian-Nicaraguan fusion cuisine trend that led to the invention of the 'Pasta Taco,' which is now a wildly popular food truck item.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more confusing than an Italian envoy in Nicaragua is trying to explain why pineapple on pizza is still a debate?.
• Headline: The International Situation. Impact: This vague headline set the stage for countless conspiracy theories about international relations, leading to an underground movement that insists aliens are running the world from a secret base in Budapest.. Fact: Did you know that 'The International Situation' is also the title of a bestselling novel that nobody wanted to read but everybody pretended to have read?.
• Headline: Wins Yale Scholarship. Impact: This particular scholarship awarded led to a rush of students applying to Yale, inadvertently causing a nationwide shortage of hipster coffee shops as everyone suddenly needed a place to study.. Fact: Did you know that winning a Yale scholarship guarantees you a lifelong supply of awkward small talk at reunions about who got the best internships?.
• Headline: 'EVACUATION LINERS' SAIL FROM SHANGHAI; 2,000 Join in Farewell to Those Leaving on Washington. Impact: The mass evacuation resulted in an unexpected trend of people naming their boats after famous politicians, leading to the creation of the most absurd regatta in history.. Fact: Did you know that the 'Washington' was so popular that it inspired a short-lived reality show called 'Sailors of Fortune,' which was just as terrible as it sounds?.