NOVEMBER 20, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Stimson's Inspection of Fort M'Clellan. Impact: Stimson's inspection of Fort M'Clellan led to an unexpected chain reaction where a military squirrel, inspired by the attention, decided to enlist and eventually became the mascot of the 27th Division, causing all soldiers to adopt pet squirrels, which resulted in a nationwide pet craze. The Great Squirrel War of 1954 almost broke out due to overpopulation.. Fact: Did you know that having a pet squirrel as a battle buddy is not an officially recognized military strategy? Shocking, I know!.
• Headline: Legacy of Dr. George F. Dudley. Impact: Dr. Dudley's passing sent shockwaves through the clergy community, causing an unprecedented rise in clergy attendance at local churches. This led to the invention of a new holy day: 'Dr. Dudley Day,' where everyone pretended to be a pastor for a day, leading to the first-ever congregation of amateur theologians arguing over who made the best coffee.. Fact: Did you know that Dr. Dudley was known for his sermons that could make even the most steadfast skeptic reconsider their life choices? Or at least their Sunday plans!.
• Headline: FOR WALTER-LOGAN BILL; National Grange Urges Speedy Passage on Leaders. Impact: The National Grange urging the speedy passage of the Walter-Logan Bill resulted in a flurry of bureaucratic paperwork that eventually led to the invention of the paperclip—truly a landmark moment in history that no one asked for.. Fact: Did you know that the Walter-Logan Bill had absolutely nothing to do with paperclips? But if it had, it would have been the most exciting legislation ever!.
• Headline: MIDLAND CITY FIRED; Nazi Bombers Fly in Waves to Hammer at Industrial Center HEAVY DAMAGE IS FEARED British Defenses Said to Be Helpless Against Technique of Night Mass Assault. Impact: The destruction of Midland City by Nazi bombers inadvertently led to the creation of the first-ever 'bomb shelter chic' design trend, influencing architecture for decades. Who knew war could lead to stylish basements?. Fact: Did you know that Birmingham was once the industrial heart of England? Now, it's just known for being the place where things went boom!.
• Headline: Canada Plans Navy School As Aid in Joint Defense. Impact: Canada's plan to create a Navy School as part of a joint defense initiative sent ripples through the North Atlantic, resulting in an influx of Canadian geese enrolling in maritime training. This led to an international incident when the geese started demanding equal rights on naval vessels.. Fact: Did you know that Canadian geese are notorious for their leadership skills? They can't fly in formation but they sure know how to honk for attention!.
• Headline: TEACHERS ENDORSE HEMISPHERE PLANS; Resolution at State Session Also Denounces 'Designing Fifth Columnists' RESTATES 6-POINT CODE Dr. John W. Dodd Takes Over Association Presidency as Syracuse Meeting Ends. Impact: The teachers' endorsement of hemisphere plans led to an unexpected worldwide curriculum overhaul, resulting in kids everywhere being forced to learn about all hemispheres equally, causing global confusion on which hemisphere was more 'hemispheric.'. Fact: Did you know that 'designing fifth columnists' is just a fancy term for teachers who assign too much homework? The real fifth column is probably just your math teacher!.
• Headline: $2,500 'PENALTY' IMPOSED BY BOARD; Davis Will Never Fight Again in State During Life of the Commission, Brown Says 2 OTHER STATES CONCUR Jersey and Pennsylvania Bar Brownsville Boxer--Fouls Not Deliberate, He Says. Impact: The imposition of a $2,500 penalty on boxer Davis led to a nationwide ban on boxing as a sport for a whole week, which inadvertently caused people to pick up knitting as an alternative form of entertainment. This ultimately led to the Great Knitting Revolution of 1945.. Fact: Did you know that getting fined in boxing is the only time you can literally get punched in the wallet? Talk about a double whammy!.