NOVEMBER 19, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Wage-Hour Law Hearings Initiated. Impact: This hearing for wage-hour laws led to the eventual rise of the 'Work-Life Balance' movement, which is now mostly just a meme shared by overworked professionals desperate for a day off.. Fact: The term 'glove pay' is actually just a fancy way of saying, 'Pay me for the time I spend not throwing my gloves at the boss.'.
• Headline: Nazi March Provokes Danish Conflict. Impact: This clash inadvertently sparked a series of events that led to the creation of the world's least effective peace treaties, all because someone thought it would be a good idea to decorate a memorial.. Fact: The 1848 and 1864 wars are often overshadowed by the fact that no one ever actually learned how to decorate a memorial without starting a riot..
• Headline: CCNY's Essential Reading List Revealed. Impact: In a bizarre twist of fate, this list of must-read books inspired a secret society of hipsters who now only read books that were never on any list.. Fact: You'll be surprised to know that most educated people actually don’t read these books at all; they just claim they have for the sake of social gatherings..
• Headline: BOTH PARTIES FIGHT LETTING BILLS DIE TO END CONGRESS; Some Democrats Are Expected to Join the Republicans in Battle on Quitting LEADERS SEE ROOSEVELT They Assert There Is Now No Reason to Stay--Disputes Rise in Both Houses. Impact: The endless bickering over bills dying in Congress has somehow led to a whole generation believing that politics is merely a game of dodgeball played with legislation instead of balls.. Fact: The term 'letting bills die' is now synonymous with 'not having to deal with annoying paperwork,' even among toddlers..
• Headline: LABOR INJUNCTION PUT UNDER NEW BAN; Supreme Court Finds Norris-La Guardia Act a Bar to WritBased on Anti-Trust Law. Impact: This ruling established a precedent that legal battles over refunds could drag on for decades, leading to the invention of the phrase 'It's in the mail' as a legal defense.. Fact: The Norris-La Guardia Act is often mistaken for a family law case about who gets custody of the family dog after a divorce..
• Headline: Cetrulo New Rutgers Coach. Impact: Cetrulo's appointment as coach led to a chain reaction that resulted in Rutgers becoming the birthplace of several questionable sports traditions, including the infamous 'Spaghetti Tuesday.'. Fact: Being appointed as a college coach is basically the equivalent of being crowned 'King of the Nerds'—lots of responsibility, minimal glory..
• Headline: FARM PARITY PLEAS PUT UP TO GRANGE; Washington State Chief Urges Production Quotas With an 'Effective Tariff' MARKETING PLAN IS ASKED Resolutions of Convention at Syracuse Also Will Include Two-Price Suggestions. Impact: This plea for farm parity ended up transforming agriculture into a complicated game of Monopoly, where everyone was just trying to avoid landing on Boardwalk.. Fact: The phrase 'effective tariff' sounds like something you’d hear in a bad sci-fi movie about space taxes..
• Headline: URGES PREPARING FOR FIGHT ABROAD; Warner Tells Legion Heads at Indianapolis the Salvation of Our Country Is at Stake HOME GUARDS EXPLAINED Patterson Suggests World War Veterans Take Part in the Proposed State Systems. Impact: Warner's pep talk to Legion Heads inspired a generation of conspiracy theorists who believed they were the chosen ones to prepare for an intergalactic battle that never came.. Fact: Telling veterans to prepare for a fight abroad is just a nice way of saying, 'Get ready for a vacation that might involve some paperwork.'.
• Headline: HEADS CIVIL SERVICE LISTS; T.T. McCrosky First in Tests for Two Planning Posts. Impact: McCrosky's success on civil service lists paved the way for future generations to believe that getting ahead in government jobs involves a lot more than just knowing how to fill out forms.. Fact: The civil service exam is less about knowledge and more about who can stay awake the longest during a three-hour test on boring regulations..
• Headline: ARMY TANKS DASH INTO REAL BULLETS; Machine-Gun Hail Is Shed Harmlessly in Demonstration for Press at Fort Knox ARMORED GAIN IS SWIFT Force Expanded 350% Since July and Will Have 20,000 Vehicles Within Year. Impact: The dramatic demonstration with army tanks led to a series of misguided tank-themed birthday parties, where kids learned the hard way that real tanks don’t come with cake.. Fact: The press tour at Fort Knox was probably just an elaborate excuse to show off the military’s new toys, which, let’s be honest, is the real reason anyone joined the army..