NOVEMBER 18, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Irving E. Blake's Diplomatic Role. Impact: Irving E. Blake's tenure as secretary was so influential that it inspired a generation of secretaries to adopt the motto: 'If you can't be a diplomat, at least be a good note-taker.' This led to a proliferation of coffee breaks being mistaken for diplomatic negotiations.. Fact: Blake's not-so-secret talent was making the best coffee in the office. Some say it was a political strategy..
• Headline: Experimental Religious Classes for Catholics. Impact: These experimental religious classes sparked a wave of 'holy trial and error,' eventually leading to the development of the first divine version of 'Survivor' where participants had to outlast each other in spiritual debates.. Fact: The first 'religious class' was actually just a potluck dinner that accidentally turned into a debate on the nature of the Holy Grail..
• Headline: GEN. VLADIMIR GRENDAL; Leading Artillery Theorist in the Soviet Union Dies at 57. Impact: Gen. Vladimir Grendal's theories on artillery inspired a series of absurd weapons innovations that included the now-infamous 'confetti cannon'—a non-lethal weapon used primarily at birthday parties.. Fact: Grendal's last words were reportedly, 'I should have studied pastry, not projectiles.'.
• Headline: JEWS' UNITED FRONT FORMED IN PALESTINE; 300 Communal Delegates Vote to Back Reform Proposals. Impact: The formation of the Jews' United Front in Palestine initiated a wave of communal organization that later inspired neighborhood watch groups to take their roles too seriously, leading to the infamous 'No Pants Wednesday' movement.. Fact: The 300 delegates spent half the meeting arguing over who would bring the bagels to their next gathering..
• Headline: MOSAIC DEDICATED AT CHRIST CHURCH; Sockman Officiates as Seventh Anniversary of Edifice Is Observed by 1,000 SCHOONMAKER FUND GIFT Pastor Says Building Houses of Worship Aids Morale and Helps National Defense. Impact: The dedication of the mosaic at Christ Church laid the groundwork for future churches to become the ultimate Instagram hotspots, complete with hashtags like #Blessed and #MosaicGoals.. Fact: The Schoonmaker Fund was originally intended for scholarships, but they decided everyone could use a little color in their lives instead..