NOVEMBER 16, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Monty Banks Gains U.S. Citizenship. Impact: Monty Banks' naturalization set off a chain reaction that led to the establishment of a secret society dedicated to ensuring that every Monty in the world is granted citizenship—because who wouldn’t want more Montys?. Fact: In the early 20th century, becoming a citizen often involved a ceremonial event, which is surprisingly fancier than most modern-day naturalization ceremonies that are about as exciting as watching paint dry.
• Headline: O. Henry Award Prize Stories of 1940. Impact: O. Henry's narrative style has influenced countless writers, leading to an ongoing trend of plot twists that are so unexpected, they could give you whiplash—thank you, O. Henry, for the literary rollercoaster. Fact: O. Henry is famous for his twist endings, which is ironic considering that most people only read the first chapter of his work before giving up and moving on to the latest celebrity gossip.
• Headline: Representative Gets Warrant for Victor On Charge of Pro-Nazi Libel in Campaign. Impact: This scandal set the stage for future political campaigns to rely heavily on mudslinging, a practice that has now evolved into a full-contact sport where the only thing lower than the candidates' integrity is the polling numbers. Fact: Political mudslinging has been around since the dawn of time, proving that while technology may change, the art of throwing shade remains timeless.
• Headline: Alvine Schott Recital. Impact: Alvine Schott's recital inadvertently sparked the 'everyone thinks they can play an instrument' movement, leading to an epidemic of middle-aged adults picking up the ukulele and ruining their family gatherings. Fact: Recitals were once major events that showcased talent; now they're more like mandatory family obligations for parents to endure while pretending to clap enthusiastically.
• Headline: THE PLAY; Hollywood Is Selected as the Topic of a Satirical Comedy Entitled 'Glamour Preferred'. Impact: This satirical comedy laid the groundwork for an entire genre of films that poke fun at Hollywood, which ultimately led to a wave of self-aware celebrities who now think they're in on the joke—spoiler alert: they're not. Fact: 'Glamour Preferred' was a satirical take on Hollywood's obsession with glamour, which ironically led to even more glamorous films with even less substance.
• Headline: $58,000,000 TUNNEL TO QUEENS OPENED; 3,000 AT CEREMONY; Opening of Queens Midtown Tunnel, Another Link in the City's Highway System. Impact: The opening of the Queens Midtown Tunnel resulted in a dramatic increase in traffic jams, inspiring future generations to invent carpool lanes, traffic apps, and a new level of road rage none could have predicted. Fact: For $58 million, you’d expect a tunnel to have some sort of luxury features—perhaps a massage station or a complimentary coffee bar to ease the commute.
• Headline: Hull Decides to Remain In Cabinet, Friends State. Impact: Hull's decision to remain in the Cabinet caused a ripple effect, leading to future politicians making similarly uninspired choices, thus ensuring that mediocrity in government continues to thrive. Fact: Staying in a job you dislike is a time-honored tradition; Hull was just ahead of his time in proving that commitment to a bad decision is truly an art form.
• Headline: LEWIS AND HILLMAN HOLD LONG PARLEY; C.I.O. Foes Confer After They Meet by Chance Strolling on Atlantic City Boardwalk CONVENTION PEACE HOPE 3 Controversial Resolutions on Reds, Labor Unity and the Leader's Powers Submitted. Impact: The chance meeting between Lewis and Hillman birthed the idea that walking and talking could resolve conflicts, leading to countless awkward encounters and the advent of ‘walk-and-talk’ meetings—because who doesn’t love multitasking?. Fact: Walking and talking is often thought to be a modern innovation, but it turns out that even in the 1940s, people couldn't sit still long enough to settle their differences.
• Headline: R.A.F. STRIKES AGAIN; Returns to Berlin After Losing Ten Planes in Raids on Reich HAMBURG ALSO BATTERED Bremen Attacked and 26 Nazi Airports From Norway to Brittany Bombed. Impact: The RAF's relentless attacks significantly weakened Nazi morale, leading to a domino effect that eventually saw the Allied forces gain the upper hand in WWII—a testament to the power of persistence and strategic bombardment. Fact: The loss of ten planes is tragic, but it’s a stark reminder that in war, bravery often comes at a high price—one that is paid not just in lives lost, but also in aircraft.