NOVEMBER 7, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Wallace's Mother Reacts to VP Election. Impact: Wallace's mother, in her quest to raise a VP, unknowingly inspired future mothers to launch campaigns for their children’s political futures, leading to the rise of momagers in politics. Thanks, Mom!. Fact: Did you know that some political campaigns are funded by 'Mother Knows Best' donations? It’s a real thing… or it should be..
• Headline: Lecture at Hunter Club on Music. Impact: The Hunter Club lecture plans ultimately led to the creation of countless awkward first dates where one party pretended to enjoy classical music while secretly Googling 'How to Sound Smart'.. Fact: Speaking at clubs is great practice for the real world, especially when you need to convince your friends that you know what 'symphonic' means..
• Headline: Los Angeles District Attorney Election 1940. Impact: The defeat of Buron Fitts sparked a nationwide trend of people changing their names to sound more appealing on ballots. Thank you, democracy!. Fact: Did you know that 'Buron' was actually a typo of 'Boring' that no one caught until it was too late?.
• Headline: Hague, Jubilant, Holds Victory Banishes Fatigue. Impact: Hague's jubilation gave birth to the 'Victory Dance', which later became a staple of every awkward wedding reception in America.. Fact: Jubilant celebrations often lead to minor injuries—especially when someone tries to recreate a victory dance without prior training..
• Headline: BACK TO EDITORIAL DUTIES; Two Chattanooga Times Editors Mark Passing of the Election. Impact: The return to editorial duties triggered an endless cycle of journalists claiming they’d return to their roots, only to get distracted by cat videos and Twitter beefs.. Fact: Speaking of editorial duties, did you know that 90% of editors are actually just really good at finding typos in love letters?.
• Headline: 20,000 Italians to Work in Reich. Impact: The decision to send 20,000 Italians to work in the Reich ultimately resulted in a global shortage of pizza, inadvertently causing the first pizza delivery service to emerge decades later.. Fact: Did you know that pizzas were once considered a luxury? Now they're just another way to avoid your problems... or your diet..
• Headline: Lincoln-Like Plea of Benet Sounds Keynote at United America Rally; Massey Reads Message to Responsive Throng at Carnegie Hall--Leading Republicans and Democrats Forget Rivalries. Impact: Benet's Lincoln-like plea for unity ironically inspired future politicians to use the phrase 'We Are One' while simultaneously plotting against each other in backrooms.. Fact: It’s said that every time someone mentions ‘national unity’, a lobbyist gets their wings. Or, at least, a nice bonus..
• Headline: MAIN MINING REGIONS CARRIED BY PRESIDENT; But His Lead Therein in This Election Is Smaller Than in '36. Impact: Roosevelt’s smaller lead in mining regions sparked a series of 'smaller leads' in politics, leading to a trend of candidates boasting about their 'narrow victories' as if they were Olympic medals.. Fact: Narrow victories are like skinny jeans: everyone claims they fit, but most are just uncomfortable and unflattering..
• Headline: Moscow Broadcasts Returns. Impact: Moscow broadcasting returns created a precedent for all future election night parties where people pretend to care about results while really just waiting for the pizza to arrive.. Fact: Fun fact: The first election night celebration involved a lot of confused people and no pizza at all. Can you imagine?.
• Headline: DEMOCRATS' SLATE LOSES IN BAY STATE; All Candidates but One Run Behind Despite Sweep by Roosevelt and Walsh FORMER WPA MAN WINS An Unknown Bookkeeper Rises From Political Obscurity to Become Auditor. Impact: The Democrats' slate losing in Bay State paved the way for political underdogs to rise, inspire countless motivational speeches, and fuel the fantasy that anyone can become a local politician—even your neighbor's cat.. Fact: Rumor has it that T J Buckley’s campaign was mostly supported by his grandma's secret cookie recipe, proving that baked goods are the real power players in politics..