OCTOBER 17, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Legal Battle Over Johnson Rifle Production. Impact: This lawsuit likely led to a future where companies are more concerned about their legal teams than their actual products. If only they had known that defensive lawsuits would someday hinder innovation more than a lack of funding ever could.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more prominent than the output of Johnson Rifles was the amount of time lawyers spent on coffee breaks during their meetings..
• Headline: Colgate University Supports Willkie. Impact: Willkie's favor among students may have sparked a long tradition of young voters blindly supporting candidates based on who has the best swag. Spoiler alert: it never gets any better.. Fact: Did you know that students have been favoring politicians like they favor pizza toppings? Always thinking of the next big thing, but rarely reading the fine print..
• Headline: ARMY CHIEF SITS IN AT ANKARA PARLEY; Inonu Receives Soviet Envoy-- Turkey Is Held Ready to Aid Greece if She Is Attacked. Impact: The meeting in Ankara could have inadvertently led to a world where international diplomacy is as chaotic as a family reunion. The ripple effect? A global game of telephone where no one really knows what anyone means anymore.. Fact: Did you know that air raid precautions are just the 1940s version of putting on your seatbelt? Safety first, but still a bit of a panic..
• Headline: R.A.F. SMASHES AT 40 BASES; RAIDS ON LONDON SLACKEN; TURKS AND RUSSIANS CONFER; NAZI OIL STORE HIT Fuel Plants, Rail Centers and Invasion Ports Are Bombed WARSHIPS FIRE DUNKERQUE Shelling Puts Harbor Out of Use, London Reports, in Growing Offensive. Impact: The RAF's bombing spree might have set the stage for future 'who can bomb the most efficiently' contests, eventually leading to the creation of reality TV shows about military strategy. Because why not turn warfare into entertainment?. Fact: Did you know that Dunkerque is now a popular tourist spot? People love to visit places with a rich history of being bombed—talk about a blast from the past!.
• Headline: REGISTRANT LISTS GUARDED IN ARMORY; Boxes Taken to Home of 71 st Regiment to Be Collected by Draft Boards Today MANY VOLUNTEERS HELP Police Cars From All Parts of City Converge on Building After 9 P.M. Deadline. Impact: The chaotic collection of registrant lists may have set the tone for future bureaucratic nightmares, leading to a world where paperwork is more complex than rocket science. Thanks, 71st Armory!. Fact: Fun fact: Armories have always been the original version of DMV offices—everyone dreads going, but it’s somehow mandatory..
• Headline: Mother Escorts Six Draftees. Impact: Mrs. R Del Buono escorting her six draftees might have unknowingly sparked a trend of helicopter parenting in the military, leading to soldiers who can’t even tie their own boots without mom’s approval.. Fact: Did you know that being a military mom is a full-time job? It’s like being a regular mom but with more camo and fewer nap times..
• Headline: SENATORS QUARREL OVER VOTE HEARING; Hill Walks Out of Chicago Session Called by Reed of Subcommittee APPEAL TO GARNER HINTED Colleague Says He Will Go On With Testimony of Civic Society Leaders. Impact: The squabbling Senators paved the way for future political drama that rivals any soap opera. Thanks to their antics, the phrase 'political theater' became a thing, and now we all tune in for the latest plot twists.. Fact: Did you know that arguments in the Senate are highly organized? It's like a chess match where everyone loses, but they keep playing for the drama..
• Headline: 'George Washington' in Line. Impact: The registration of 'George Washington' (the Negro) symbolizes the beginning of a long journey toward political representation that would ripple through history. Who knew a name could carry so much weight?. Fact: Did you know that naming trends often reflect the times? ‘George Washington’ might just be the most popular name for political activists—right after ‘Martin Luther King Jr.’, of course..