OCTOBER 15, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Company H's Annual Reunion Dinner. Impact: The annual Company H reunion sparked a nationwide trend of military reunions, which eventually led to the creation of reality TV shows about veterans reminiscing over old war stories and comparing their BBQ skills. Fact: Did you know that 'annual dinner' is just a fancy term for 'let's eat our feelings and argue about who was the best soldier'?.
• Headline: Sues for Sound-Truck Permit. Impact: Suing for a sound-truck permit turned into a bizarre legal trend where every disgruntled citizen thought they could sue for the right to annoy their neighbors with loud music. Legal fees skyrocketed, and noise complaints became a national pastime. Fact: Did you know that sound trucks are just the original mobile billboards? Because who doesn't want to hear a sales pitch at 2 AM?.
• Headline: Faculty Post to Dr. Peatman. Impact: Dr. Peatman's election to the faculty post led to intense debates about whether academic leadership should be based on qualifications or who can make the best coffee. Spoiler: the coffee won. Fact: Did you know that academia is just one big coffee-drinking contest? Because nothing says 'I’m a genius' like a strong caffeine habit!.
• Headline: DRAFT CURBS ENLISTING; One-Year Service After Today to Come Through Local Boards. Impact: Draft curbs on enlistments created a black market for enlistment papers. Eventually, this underground economy led to a new subculture of draft dodgers who became the hipsters of the military—only enlisting for the 'vintage' experience. Fact: Did you know that local boards are just the adult version of schoolyard bullies deciding who can play? Welcome to the real world!.
• Headline: INCREASE IN LOANS REPORTED BY BANKS; Reserve System Shows a Rise of $42,000,000 in Advances to Farms and Trade U.S. BOND HOLDINGS UP Holdings of Treasury Notes Are $298,000,000 Less Than the Week Before. Impact: The reported increase in bank loans contributed to an economic boom in farm and trade sectors, ultimately leading to the invention of credit cards—because who doesn't want to go into debt while shopping for groceries?. Fact: Did you know that banks only report increases in loans to remind you how much more in debt you could be? Thanks for the encouragement, guys!.
• Headline: WALLACE ACCUSED OF 'SECTIONALISM'; Bridges Charges Candidate Is Using a 'Hymn of Hate' to Try to Divide Nation P.F. WARBURG FOR WILLKIE Cousin of Roosevelt Supporter Sees Republican as Man to Restore Confidence. Impact: Accusations of sectionalism against Wallace eventually led to an increase in regional pride, culminating in the birth of the 'Hymn of Hate' genre in music. Congratulations, America, you now have a soundtrack for your grievances!. Fact: Did you know that a 'Hymn of Hate' is just a catchy way of saying, 'I’m unhappy, and I want everyone to know it'? Next stop: Top 40 charts!.
• Headline: BAR REDS' SLATES FROM TWO STATES; Arkansas and Tennessee Act to Keep Communists Out of Election Contest 'SEDITION' IS THE CAUSE Rulings Hold Party Aims to Overthrow Government if Its Candidates Win. Impact: The Roosevelt and Willkie broadcast about the draft inadvertently turned into a reality show, with viewers tuning in to see who could make the most absurd arguments about military service. The ratings were through the roof!. Fact: Did you know that political broadcasts were basically the first reality shows? No script, just raw drama and a whole lot of confusion!.
• Headline: Roosevelt and Willkie To Broadcast on Draft.