OCTOBER 12, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Major Still Seized in Market District. Impact: This raid on a still sparked a nationwide fascination with bootlegging that led to the rise of speakeasies, flappers, and the birth of jazz—because nothing says 'I love the law' like a secret door to your moonshine!. Fact: Did you know that the capacity of that still could fill about 4,000 bottles of whiskey? Talk about a party trick gone wrong!.
• Headline: Hudson County Voter Registration Milestone. Impact: Hudson's record registration likely triggered a chain reaction where every town across America started competing for the 'Most Registered Voters' trophy, leading to the eventual creation of the reality TV show 'Voter Idol.'. Fact: Fun fact: 60% of the population is a lot easier to deal with when you’re not counting their votes during a heated election year!.
• Headline: HEARS KERN ARGUMENTS; Court Reserves Decision in Council Contempt Case. Impact: The reserved decision in the Kern contempt case likely caused a butterfly effect of legal drama, inspiring countless courtroom dramas and a few bad TV shows where everyone yells 'objection!' for ratings. Fact: Isn't it funny how courts reserve decisions? It's like a suspenseful cliffhanger but without the popcorn!.
• Headline: BERTHOLD H. WUNDER; President of New York Produce Exchange 1926 and 1927. Impact: Wunder's presidency of the New York Produce Exchange set off a chain of events leading to the greatest avocado toast craze in history—because who doesn’t want to pay inflated prices for organic kale?. Fact: Wunder's name sounds like a superhero, but alas, he was just a guy dealing with produce and not saving the world.
• Headline: C.G. SUTTON A SUICIDE; Bacteriologist Ends Life at His Laboratory in Yonkers. Impact: C.G. Sutton’s tragic end became a cautionary tale for future scientists, leading to an unspoken rule that lab safety should be prioritized over existential crises—because science is hard enough without the added pressure of suicide. Fact: It's ironic that bacteriologists study life, yet Sutton felt the only option was to end his. Life really does have a dark sense of humor.
• Headline: Smith of NLRB Is Assailed. Impact: Smith being assailed in the Puget Sound ports dispute set off a chain reaction of labor disputes across the nation, eventually leading to the rise of the 'Labor Day' barbecue—where workers united over burnt hotdogs. Fact: Being assailed sounds intense, but in labor disputes, it's often just a lot of yelling and not enough snacks.
• Headline: Topics of The Times. Impact: The 'Topics of The Times' column became a precursor to social media influencers, as everyone suddenly felt the need to weigh in on electoral votes like they were experts, leading to a world where everyone's opinion is valid—even when it’s absurd. Fact: Imagine if we had Twitter back then. The electoral vote debates would have been trending harder than any cat video!.
• Headline: COMMUNIST BAN REFUSED BY STATE; Bureau of Elections Rejects Legion's Charge of Fraud in Plea for Ballot Exclusion. Impact: The refusal to ban the Communist Party from ballots led to a series of political debates that would echo through the ages, inspiring future generations to argue about everything from socialism to whether pineapple belongs on pizza. Fact: The Bureau of Elections rejecting the American Legion's charges is like a high school principal saying, 'No, you can't expel the weird kid just because you think he draws funny pictures!'.
• Headline: MUTUEL REVENUES HIGH; State Collections Since Last April Near $5,000,000. Impact: The high mutuel revenues led to the establishment of state fairs where people now risk their money on games just as they do on horse races—because nothing screams 'fun' like throwing cash at something that’s probably rigged. Fact: If only the horses knew they were making people millionaires while they were just trying to run around a track!.