OCTOBER 11, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: A.S. Goss Supports Willkie's Candidacy. Impact: If Goss hadn't backed Willkie, perhaps the butterfly effect would have led to a world where Wallace actually became president. Imagine a timeline where no one knew how to properly pronounce 'Wallace'—chaos would ensue!. Fact: Goss's support for Willkie was so impactful that it almost made him a household name. Almost. But hey, at least he wasn't just another guy in a bowler hat at a political rally..
• Headline: Bronx Business Records Filed in 1940. Impact: This riveting headline about business records likely inspired a future generation of accountants to take up interpretive dance as a way to express their deep feelings about spreadsheets.. Fact: Statistics show that the excitement level of business records has only slightly increased since this headline—right up there with watching paint dry!.
• Headline: Planning the 1940 Regatta Event. Impact: The discussion of regatta plans set off a chain reaction leading to the invention of competitive rowing as a way for people to avoid real work, thus creating a whole new sport for those who think 'exercise' is just a word.. Fact: Regattas are the only events where people can get sunburned while doing absolutely nothing productive. Talk about multitasking!.
• Headline: THREW PLAYMATE IN RIVER; Michigan Boy, 12, Says He Acted When Child Cried. Impact: This tragic event likely caused a ripple effect that led to stricter playdate rules and the eventual creation of 'no crying' zones in children's parks. Who knew crying could lead to such drastic measures?. Fact: It's said that this incident prompted discussions about children's behavior that still echo in parenting blogs today—proof that history sometimes repeats itself in the worst ways..
• Headline: Truck Kills Brooklyn Boy, 5. Impact: The loss of this young boy sent shockwaves through the community, leading to improved safety measures in urban areas, as if a tragic event was needed to remind everyone that, yes, trucks are dangerous.. Fact: Every time a child is lost to a preventable accident, a new safety regulation is born. It's a grim reminder that it takes heartbreak to spark change..
• Headline: TRIBUTES TO CANAVAN; Gov. Lehman, Mayor La Guardia and Others Mourn for Official. Impact: Canavan's passing led to an outpouring of appreciation that transformed local politics, reminding everyone that even in death, one can influence policy—showing that sometimes being dead is the best career move.. Fact: Many politicians have found that a good eulogy can boost their ratings more than any campaign speech ever could. Canavan may have just invented the posthumous popularity contest..
• Headline: 2 in Doctor's Home Die of Fumes. Impact: This tragic incident led to tighter regulations around home safety, inspiring a generation of homeowners to invest in carbon monoxide detectors. Who knew that dying at home could save lives in the future?. Fact: Carbon monoxide is known as 'the silent killer.' It's a reminder not to take your home safety for granted—unless you enjoy playing Russian roulette with your appliances..
• Headline: EX-ALIENS SEE PLOT TO BAR VOTE IN BRONX; Justice Hammer May Visit Poll Boards to Investigate. Impact: This headline could easily spark conspiracy theories about time travelers meddling in elections, creating a timeline where Justice Hammer becomes a folk hero against tyranny. Just wait until the documentary comes out!. Fact: In today's world, debates about voting rights have somehow become the hottest topic since sliced bread—who knew democracy could be so controversial?.