OCTOBER 9, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Eugene Gash: Rising Star Pianist. Impact: Eugene Gash’s piano recital inspired a secret society of musicians who believe playing Bach in public transports you to an alternate dimension where cats rule the world. Coincidentally, cat videos became a thing years later.. Fact: Did you know that Bach once said that music is the 'noble gift of God'? No pressure, Eugene!.
• Headline: Draft Boards Established in Four States. Impact: The appointment of draft boards sparked a chain reaction leading to the creation of reality TV shows where people are 'drafted' into ridiculous challenges. Thank you, bureaucratic regulations!. Fact: Fun fact: 40% of that $24 million budget went toward buying pens. Because, you know, signing things requires fancy writing utensils..
• Headline: WILLKIE DEMANDS ROOSEVELT TELL IF HE PLANS WAR; ASSAILS PRESIDENT Sees 'Fakes, Shams and Misrepresentations' in New Deal 'Pose' SAYS NATION WANTS TRUTH Denounces Flynn in Bronx and Receives Cheers From a Hostile Garment Crowd. Impact: Willkie's demand for truth in politics led to a secret underground movement where politicians had to wear truth-telling hats. Spoiler: they all got very dizzy.. Fact: Willkie was basically the original 'tell it like it is' guy, long before social media influencers made it trendy..
• Headline: LONDON CHIEF GOAL; Most Widespread Attack of War Aimed at City by Day and Night RUSH HOUR THRONGS HIT 30 Districts of City Bombed --Southeast Coast Towns Also Suffer Heavily. Impact: The bombings in London prompted an unexpected surge in the popularity of underground jazz clubs, where people could feel safe while dancing away their worries. Who knew tragedy could lead to swing?. Fact: The most bombed area turned into a tourist attraction called 'The Blitz Experience'. It said to have the worst Yelp reviews ever..
• Headline: FIRST LADY WARNS OF PERIL TO IDEALS; Business Women Hear Plea to Help Make Democracy Worth Defending MUST KNOW PUBLIC MIND Says at Benefit for Group Aiding Child Evacuees It Determines Our Actions. Impact: Mrs. Roosevelt's plea for women to defend democracy inadvertently led to the invention of the 'Women’s Power Hour', where they discussed ideals while drinking herbal tea and plotting world domination.. Fact: Her speeches were so inspiring that they led to the founding of a secret society of businesswomen called 'The League of Unstoppable Ideas'..
• Headline: JONES SEES RISE IN FACTORY OUTPUT; Secretary of Commerce Finds Assurance in New Orders and Backlogs DEFENSE IS THE IMPETUS $7,600,000,000 of Contracts Cleared in the Last Three Months, He Says. Impact: The Nazis training Hungarians and Bulgarians inadvertently sparked a secret fascination with military strategy games, leading to the invention of strategic board games that would be played for decades.. Fact: Rumor has it that the training sessions were less about actual warfare and more about whose country could produce the best goulash. Spoiler: it was Hungary..