OCTOBER 7, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Edward J. Maher: Political Legacy. Impact: Maher's resignation led to a power vacuum that resulted in the rise of a local pizza shop owner who would eventually run for mayor, establishing a new political dynasty based on the slogan 'Slice of Democracy.'. Fact: Did you know that if political committees were pizza, this one would have been a plain cheese—safe, boring, and likely to leave you hungry for real change?.
• Headline: Dr. Simons Advocates for Moral Idealism. Impact: Dr. Simons' call for idealism sparked a movement that eventually led to the invention of 'feel-good' motivational posters, forever changing office decor and leading to an increase in eye-rolls worldwide.. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'Hang in there, baby!' was actually inspired by Dr. Simons' sermons. Who knew kittens could have such a profound philosophical impact?.
• Headline: Fire Destroys Stokely-Van Camp Cannery. Impact: The destruction of the cannery led to a tomato shortage that inadvertently sparked the Great Ketchup Wars of the 1950s, resulting in the rise of artisanal ketchup and a cult following for organic heirloom tomatoes.. Fact: Did you know that the most expensive ketchup in the world now comes from a tiny farm in Vermont? They claim it 'captures the essence of the earth.' Or something. It's still just ketchup..
• Headline: JERSEY MAY FIGHT SEATING OF JURISTS; Attorney General Wilentz Said to Be Considering Start of Quo Warranto Action JUDGES FACE OTHER SNAGS Legislative Appointees Must Get Quarters and Pay From Hudson Freeholders. Impact: The legal wrangling over jurists led to a bizarre series of court cases that ultimately resulted in a judge being elected based solely on their ability to perform magic tricks, proving that law and entertainment are more intertwined than we thought.. Fact: Did you know that in New Jersey, you can be judged by a magician? Just kidding! But wouldn't that liven up a courtroom?.
• Headline: School Damaged by Fire. Impact: This tragic event prompted a nationwide safety overhaul for schools, ultimately leading to the invention of the fire drill—an exercise that has been both a lifesaver and a boredom inducer for generations of students.. Fact: Fun fact: Fire drills are the only time kids get to leave class without a fight. Who knew safety could be so liberating?.
• Headline: Art to Aid Finland Relief. Impact: The fundraising effort for Finland ignited an international art movement, inspiring artists to create pieces that depicted the importance of solidarity, which would later culminate in the creation of 'artsy' coffee shops everywhere—because nothing says 'relief' like overpriced lattes.. Fact: Did you know that art can literally save lives? Just look at how many people have been saved from boredom by staring at abstract paintings in cafés!.
• Headline: Suggestions for Children. Impact: These suggestions, while well-intentioned, led to a generation of parents reading self-help books on how to raise children, which ultimately resulted in a massive spike in therapy sessions for both parents and kids alike.. Fact: Did you know that kids today are so over-scheduled that some have their own personal life coaches? Yeah, my childhood was just me trying to avoid my homework..
• Headline: 1,800 AT SERVICE FOR DEAD FIREMEN; NEW YORK FIREMEN HOLD MEMORIAL SERVICES. Impact: The memorial sparked a nationwide recognition of firefighter bravery, leading to the establishment of annual charity events that raise millions for families of fallen heroes, forever enshrining their legacy in the hearts of communities.. Fact: It's a solemn truth that firefighters are often the unsung heroes—brave, dedicated, and usually the first to get the last slice of pizza at a party..
• Headline: Alistair Cookes Have a Son. Impact: The birth of Cooke's son set off a chain reaction of celebrity offspring who would eventually dominate the media landscape, leading to a world where every child of a famous person has a reality show by age five.. Fact: Did you know that celebrity babies have better PR teams than most politicians? It's a tough world out there, and even diapers need a good marketing strategy..
• Headline: 45 AT CITY COLLEGE NAMED TO COUNCILS; Todd Doscher Is Elected Head of Student Group. Impact: Todd's election marked the beginning of a long-standing tradition of student government elections being more about popularity than policy, paving the way for future generations of students to campaign on the strength of their snack choices.. Fact: Did you know that in student government, the most important qualification is often just being able to whip up a good pizza party? Politics is a slice of life, after all..