AUGUST 17, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fort Laramie Park Dedication Ceremony. Impact: The dedication of Fort Laramie Park led to a surge of park enthusiasts, inadvertently increasing the number of people who thought a picnic was an acceptable substitute for a historical lesson. And so, the great American picnic culture was born, paving the way for countless ants to feast on potato salad.. Fact: Did you know that Fort Laramie was originally a trading post? Now, it's just a place for people to argue over who brought the best chips to the picnic..
• Headline: Louis Wolff: Borough Presidents' Secretary. Impact: Louis Wolff’s tenure as Secretary to Borough Presidents could have led to a secret society of borough leaders. Their clandestine meetings would eventually inspire the plot of a sitcom that never aired, but who knows how many people were almost amused?. Fact: Fun fact: being a secretary back then meant you were basically the 'real' boss. Just ask anyone who's ever had to sift through a mountain of paperwork..
• Headline: End of Sale Price Restrictions. Impact: The termination of sale price restrictions opened the floodgates for questionable financial practices. It’s a classic case of 'what could go wrong?'—and history shows us the answer is 'absolutely everything.'. Fact: Did you know that finance is just a fancy word for 'let's see how many people we can confuse with numbers'?.
• Headline: Two Subsidiaries of Steel Corporation In $343,920-a-Year Management Contract. Impact: The $343,920-a-year management contract with U.S. Steel Corp created a ripple effect where suddenly every corporation thought they could charge exorbitant fees for just about anything. Welcome to the age of corporate freelancing!. Fact: Fun fact: The amount in that contract could buy you approximately 34,392 cups of coffee at your local café—if you wanted to caffeinate that many people, of course..
• Headline: NEWSPAPER GUILD LOSES; J.N. Macy Publications Agreed to Bargain, NLRB Finds. Impact: The NLRB's dismissal of charges against J.N. Macy Publications set a precedent for corporate disregard for labor rights. It’s like handing a toddler a paintbrush and saying, 'Go wild!'—and we all know how that ends.. Fact: Did you know that collective bargaining is actually just a fancy term for 'let's negotiate until we all agree to disagree'?.
• Headline: 600 at Peter J. Kunz Funeral. Impact: Peter J. Kunz's funeral attracted 600 attendees, leading to a sudden spike in people realizing they should probably attend more funerals to avoid social awkwardness. Thus began the trend of 'networking at wakes.'. Fact: In a fun twist, funerals were once seen as social events, so really, you could say they were the original networking parties—minus the free food..
• Headline: BOOKS OF THE TIMES; Men, Writers and War Those Who Took Part The Verdict of History Those Who Get Burned. Impact: Arch MacLeish’s reflections on writers and war influenced countless aspiring authors who, inspired by his words, decided to write about absolutely everything but war. Thus, the literary world became flooded with poetry on the merits of coffee and existential dread.. Fact: Did you know that writing about war is just one step away from writing about your cat’s struggles with a laser pointer? Both involve a lot of existential angst..
• Headline: Windsors to Arrive in the Bahamas Today; Duke to Take the Governor's Oath at Once; Bahamians Are Excited. Impact: The arrival of the Windsors in the Bahamas reignited the age-old debate about whether the British monarchy should actually take a vacation. This led to a cultural shift where people began to think of royalty as just regular folks with better vacation packages.. Fact: Fun fact: The Bahamas is known for its beautiful beaches, but it’s also home to the world's largest conch shell. So, you could say it’s a prime spot for shell-ing out some royal nonsense..
• Headline: POLICE CHECK LOST ITEMS; Bureau Investigates Reports of Thefts and Pawned Articles. Impact: The police check for lost items gave rise to an entire subculture of conspiracy theorists who believed the lost property bureau was secretly hoarding items for a future episode of 'Antiques Roadshow.'. Fact: Did you know that the lost and found is just a fancy name for 'we have no idea where that stuff came from, but good luck getting it back'?.