AUGUST 13, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Vladeck Houses Welcome First Residents. Impact: The fumigation of the Vladeck Houses set off a chain reaction that ultimately led to the invention of self-cleaning furniture. Who knew a little insecticide could inspire a future where couches clean themselves? Talk about a lazy revolution!. Fact: Did you know that fumigation is just a fancy term for 'we're trying to kill all the bugs without you freaking out'?.
• Headline: Thieves Strike Essex County Courthouse. Impact: The missing loot sparked a nationwide obsession with security, leading to the invention of the 'Thief-Proof Safe.' Spoiler alert: it didn’t work.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing harder to find than missing evidence is a good police procedural that doesn't feature a bumbling detective?.
• Headline: Flynn Defends Democratic Book Amid Attacks. Impact: Flynn's defense of advertising contracts led to the creation of more convoluted political jargon, which still confuses voters today. Thanks, Flynn!. Fact: Did you know that 'straw boss' was originally a compliment? Just kidding, it was always an insult. But it sounds so nice, doesn’t it?.
• Headline: ILLNESS HALTS RUNAWAY; Girl, 14, Gives Up After Attack of Appendicitis. Impact: The girl's appendicitis halted her runaway plans, inadvertently creating the world's first 'runaway support group.' And thus, therapy was born!. Fact: Did you know that appendicitis is just your appendix’s way of saying, 'Help! I don't want to be here anymore!' It’s the ultimate drama queen move..
• Headline: THE DAY IN WASHINGTON. Impact: The call to veto the Wheeler-Lea transportation bill resulted in a long-standing tradition of farmers complaining about transportation issues. It's like a never-ending sitcom!. Fact: Did you know that farm associations have been getting together to complain since the dawn of agriculture? Talk about a legacy of grumbling!.
• Headline: HUGE STILL SEIZED; SEEN MEN ARRESTED; Alcohol Raid Termed Biggest Since Prohibition Days. Impact: The biggest still seizure during Prohibition boosted the black market for homemade alcohol, leading to the rise of your great-grandfather’s questionable moonshine recipes. Cheers!. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'the bigger they are, the harder they fall' applied to stills during Prohibition? Size really does matter!.
• Headline: 1936 Book Yielded $400,000. Impact: The $400,000 yield from the Democratic campaign book led to countless other political fundraising strategies, including bake sales and car washes. Because who doesn’t want to donate to a political cause while getting a cupcake?. Fact: Did you know that political fundraising isn't just about money? It's also about the delicious snacks that come with it. Priorities, people!.
• Headline: Clipper Resumes Flight. Impact: The Clipper's resumed flights sparked a new era of air travel, ultimately leading to the dreaded middle seat. Thanks a lot, Clipper!. Fact: Did you know that air travel used to be glamorous? Now it’s more like a game of sardines with wings..
• Headline: JACKSON, HATCH WARN OWN PARTY NOT TO SELL BOOK; Attorney General Again Asserts State Laws Can't Permit Steps Under a Federal Ban SENATOR SEES AN EVASION Flynn, Here, Replies to Willkie in Defense of Advertising-- Says Books Won't Be Sold. Impact: Jackson and Hatch’s warning against selling campaign books marked the beginning of the political book ban era, which led to the rise of underground political zines. Who knew censorship could be so punk?. Fact: Did you know that political book sales are a lot like diet fads? They keep changing, but the results are always disappointing!.