JULY 13, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bulova Watch Holdings Proxy Statement Insights. Impact: The revelation of large interests in Bulova Watch Holdings led to a series of stock market fluctuations that made watch enthusiasts question whether they could actually trust their timepieces. This eventually sparked a movement of time-traveling hipsters who believed that wearing vintage watches could transport them back to simpler times. Spoiler: it didn’t. Fact: Did you know that if you stare at a clock long enough, it eventually becomes a metaphor for your life? Just like Bulova watches, which are all about precision—unless you forget to wind them.
• Headline: Insight into Railway Operations 1940. Impact: The railway statements released in May led to a sudden surge in train travel, resulting in a social media frenzy decades later, where influencers touted train travel as the 'original sustainable transport'—completely ignoring the fact that trains have been around longer than they have. Fact: Railway statements: The 1940s version of a Twitter thread. Only instead of arguing about politics, it was about the number of carriages on a freight train. Riveting.
• Headline: Thrilling Model Plane Exhibition at Fair. Impact: The excitement from the model planes led to the first-ever 'drones for kids' initiative, which ironically, resulted in a bunch of kids flying actual drones into trees, sparking a long-lasting feud between tree-huggers and drone enthusiasts. Fact: Fun fact: Those model airplanes were a hit, but they didn’t come with an instruction manual on how to avoid the 'great tree collision of 1940.'.
• Headline: COMPARATIVE TABLE OF NEW YORK CITY AND SUBURBAN BANKS AND TRUST COMPANIES. Impact: The comparative table of banks sparked a fierce rivalry between city banks and suburban ones that led to the creation of a reality show called 'Banking Wars: The Interest Rates Strikes Back.' Spoiler: Nobody watched it. Fact: Comparative tables are like the Tinder profiles of banks—full of numbers, and nobody actually swipes right unless they’re desperate for a loan.
• Headline: HERBERT WRIGLEY WILSON; British Writer on Naval Affairs Served London Newspapers. Impact: Wilson's writings on naval affairs inspired a generation of aspiring naval historians, some of whom mistakenly thought they could sail the high seas based on his articles, leading to a rise in amateur sailing clubs and an alarming number of lost boats. Fact: Herbert Wrigley Wilson: the man who made naval history so interesting that people forgot it was mostly just a bunch of ships chasing each other.
• Headline: STOCK EXCHANGE NOTES. Impact: The suspension from the Stock Exchange sparked a rumor that the market was actually run by a secret cabal of cats, which led to the infamous 'Feline Finance' movement and a sharp rise in cat-themed stocks. Fact: Stock Exchange notes are the adult version of 'someone stole my lunch!'—but instead of food, it's about how your money just vanished into thin air.
• Headline: BLIND HOLD CONVENTION; 600 Meet at First Session of Kind in New Jersey. Impact: The Blind Hold Convention paved the way for future conventions that would embrace inclusivity, eventually leading to the 'Blind Dates' initiative where people started meeting without knowing what they looked like. Surprisingly, it caught on. Fact: The first Blind Hold Convention: proving that sometimes, you can have a great time without actually seeing what you're doing.
• Headline: TAX REFUNDS TO MELLONS; Sarah Melton Scaife and R.K. Melton Were Overassessed. Impact: The tax refund saga of the Mellons led to a nationwide reassessment of taxation policies, resulting in people becoming so obsessed with their tax returns that it sparked the annual 'Tax Refund Party'—where it’s all fun and games until the IRS shows up. Fact: Getting a tax refund is the adult equivalent of finding a five-dollar bill in your coat pocket—everyone celebrates until they remember they still owe money on their student loans.
• Headline: FREDERICK H. BIRCH, REAL ESTATE MAN, 72; Treasurer of Slawson & Hobbs Since 1906 Is Dead. Impact: Birch’s passing marked the end of an era for real estate in the area, leading to a sudden spike in property values and a conspiracy theory that he was secretly a vampire who had been keeping the housing market stable for decades. Fact: Frederick H. Birch: proof that the real estate market can outlive even the most seasoned of its players—unless, of course, you count the houses that keep getting sold at a loss.
• Headline: TWO DIRECT 'DRAFT'; Byrnes and Hopkins in Chicago as Chiefs of 3d Term Drive ALL SURE HE WILL ACCEPT Movement for Nomination by Acclamation Meets With Obstacles From First Resolutions Hearings Begin No Roosevelt Word Expected ROOSEVELT DRAFT STARTS IN CHICAGO. Impact: The 3rd term draft sparked a massive debate over presidential terms that ultimately led to the 22nd Amendment, which limited presidents to two terms—proving that sometimes, the best way to ensure democracy is to make sure no one has too much fun in office. Fact: The Roosevelt draft: reminding us that the only thing more persistent than a political campaign is a toddler in a candy store.