JUNE 17, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Sermon on Americanism: God's Perspective. Impact: The sermon on Americanism sparked a nationwide obsession with patriotism, leading to the invention of things like 'American Flag Yoga' and 'Stars and Stripes Lattes.' Who knew that a sermon could influence the caffeine choices of future generations?. Fact: The phrase 'American Way' was so popular that it eventually led to the creation of a long-lost sitcom where everything was solved with pie. Yes, pie..
• Headline: Edsel Ford Addresses Dealers Amid Crisis. Impact: Edsel Ford's assurances that everything was 'normal' during a crisis actually set a precedent for corporate communication. This eventually gave rise to the phrase 'business as usual' which, let's be honest, has been used far too often in the face of actual disasters.. Fact: Edsel Ford is famous for having a car named after him that was anything but normal—a real testament to the family legacy of doing things differently!.
• Headline: Return of Ships from War-Torn Regions. Impact: The near-tragedy of the freighter's journey inadvertently inspired countless Hollywood war films depicting heroic sailors dodging bombs, leading to a cultural obsession with nautical nonsense that persists to this day.. Fact: The freighter's captain probably had more dramatic tales than any Hollywood screenwriter, but alas, he didn’t get that sweet movie deal..
• Headline: INFANTRY BAFFLED BY SMOKE SCREEN; Fumes on Target Cut Average of Hits From 51 to 12 Per Cent at Fort Dix. Impact: The bafflement of infantry by smoke screens resulted in a series of hilarious training videos for new recruits about how not to shoot at things they can't see. These videos somehow became cult classics among the troops.. Fact: Smoke screens were so effective that they inadvertently inspired a new genre of magic tricks—'The Vanishing Soldier!' Spoiler alert: They never really reappeared..
• Headline: BROOKLYN FACTORY LEASED FROM PLANS; Coffee Concern to Have New Plant in Division Place. Impact: The leasing of a coffee factory in Brooklyn became a catalyst for the Great Coffee Rush of the 21st century, where every hipster decided they could roast beans better than their neighbor, leading to an explosion of artisanal coffee shops everywhere.. Fact: This factory was the birthplace of the 'Brooklyn Barista' stereotype, complete with flannel shirts and an unwavering disdain for Starbucks..
• Headline: AID FOR ALLIES URGED; B'rith Sholom Head Says It Is Only Way to Save Jews. Impact: The call for aid for the Allies sparked an international movement that somehow led to a global obsession with superhero movies. Yes, you can thank this push for the Avengers—saving the world, one cinematic universe at a time.. Fact: The phrase 'save the world' has since been co-opted by countless movie plotlines and a surprising number of social media influencers. Truly a testament to the power of rhetoric!.
• Headline: STALIN AFRAID. Impact: Stalin's fear led to an intense game of geopolitical chess where every move was scrutinized, but ultimately taught future leaders that paranoia can be contagious—just ask anyone with an internet connection.. Fact: Stalin was so afraid he once mistook his own shadow for an enemy agent. If only he had a better understanding of lighting..
• Headline: Margaret Wilson Embraces Brahmin Faith; President's Daughter Joins Retreat in India. Impact: Margaret Wilson's embrace of the Brahmin faith unexpectedly ignited a wave of interest in Eastern philosophies among American elites, leading to decades of confused yoga classes and the rise of overpriced meditation retreats.. Fact: This retreat in India was likely the precursor to every influencer's 'spiritual awakening' trip to Bali—some traditions never die!.
• Headline: Degas Painting Lent to Fair. Impact: The lending of Degas paintings to fairs paved the way for the art world to embrace the idea that anything can be a traveling exhibit. This eventually led to the infamous 'Traveling Toilet Art Show,' which is still debated in artistic circles.. Fact: Degas might have rolled in his grave if he knew his works would one day be next to a toilet seat in an art exhibit. Art truly is subjective!.
• Headline: WHY WE LACK TANKS. Impact: The question of 'why we lack tanks' became a rallying cry that inspired countless engineers to create makeshift armored vehicles out of anything they could find, including old school buses. Talk about creative problem solving!. Fact: This shortage led to the development of the world's first 'Guerrilla Tank'—which was actually just a bunch of guys on bicycles with very loud horns..