MAY 21, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Nazi Defenses Near Swedish Border. Impact: If the Nazis had built more cozy cabins near the Swedish border, perhaps they would have opened a luxury resort instead of a military base, leading to a strange alliance of vacationing soldiers and confused Swedish tourists.. Fact: The Nazis were more into real estate than you might think—if only they had discovered Airbnb!.
• Headline: Seadragon Submarine Heads to the Pacific. Impact: Seadragon's departure could be seen as the first real underwater Instagram influencer, documenting its journey across the Pacific, leading to a future where submarines have their own social media accounts.. Fact: Submarines are basically the introverts of the navy; they only surface when absolutely necessary!.
• Headline: HUNGARY REPORTED IN NAZI TROOP DEAL; Declared to Be Granting Right of Passage for Promise of Former Lands RUSSIANS SAID TO MOVE Several Divisions Involved on Hungarian, Rumanian Borders, Budapest Hears. Impact: This deal may have inadvertently inspired future negotiations where countries barter with pizza and Wi-Fi instead of territory, leading to a world where peace is achieved with pepperoni.. Fact: Hungary trading land for troop passage? Talk about a real estate deal gone bad!.
• Headline: Louvain Library Is Destroyed Again in War; It Had Been Restored by American Funds; LOUVAIN LIBRARY DESTROYED AGAIN. Impact: The repeated destruction of the Louvain Library might have inspired future architects to design buildings that are basically unbreakable, leading to the concept of 'anti-war libraries'—the perfect theme for a dystopian novel.. Fact: Louvain Library: the only place that could claim to have the worst luck in the history of books..
• Headline: Cuban Sugar Output Near Limit. Impact: Cuban sugar output nearing its limit may have inspired a secret recipe for the world's first 'sugar-free' rum, leading to a revolution in cocktail culture that nobody wanted.. Fact: Cuban sugar output: the sweet spot for all your cocktail needs—until it ran out!.
• Headline: R.A.F. CLAWS BACK AT LARGER FORCES; THE WOUNDED AND THE HELPLESS FROM WAR-TORN BELGIUM FIND HAVENS IN GREAT BRITAIN AND FRANCE. Impact: The R.A.F.’s insistence on clawing back forces could have inspired future military strategies based on 'claw machine' techniques, where soldiers simply grab enemy troops and hope for the best.. Fact: The R.A.F. was basically the original 'grab and go' squad, long before it was cool..
• Headline: Asks Week's Pay for Defense. Impact: If more citizens had heeded Melton's call to donate a week's pay, we might have seen a national 'pay it forward' movement, where each paycheck was an act of patriotic kindness—until everyone found out how broke they really were.. Fact: Asking for a week’s pay for defense? Sounds like the most awkward charity drive ever..
• Headline: MAYOR ASKS NATION TO SPEND FOR WAR; He Tells North Carolinians That the Danger of Air-Fleet Invasion Is Not Slight FOR LANGUAGE OF FORCE Holds That This Country Can Have Peace Only if We Build to Prepare for Defense. Impact: The Mayor's plea for national spending might have led to a strange economic model where citizens paid for the privilege of being scared, resulting in a unique blend of taxes and anxiety.. Fact: Building for defense? Sure, but can we also get a coffee shop in those plans? Because, priorities!.