MAY 12, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Dwarf Horses Discovered in Grand Canyon. Impact: The discovery of dwarf horses in the Grand Canyon led to a secret society of horse enthusiasts who believed these creatures were the key to unlocking the mysteries of time travel. Little did they know, their attempts at breeding led to the birth of a new species: unicorns, which would later be a staple in children's birthday parties.. Fact: Dwarf horses are not just cute; they can also be incredibly stubborn. Imagine a tiny horse throwing a tantrum in the middle of the Grand Canyon—no wonder they went into hiding!.
• Headline: Fiction in Lighter Vein Unveiled. Impact: This light-hearted fiction somehow inspired a future generation to take everything too seriously, leading to the rise of overly dramatic reality TV shows. Thanks, Garth!. Fact: In a world where serious literature reigns supreme, sometimes you just need a good laugh—or a book that’s not a 900-page existential crisis..
• Headline: Red Cross Aid for Belgium and Netherlands. Impact: The Red Cross's aid to Belgium and the Netherlands not only helped save lives but also sparked a culinary revolution. Belgian waffles and Dutch cheese became the unofficial post-war comfort food of choice, leading to an international brunch craze.. Fact: Who knew that a little cash could lead to a whole lot of carbs? The Red Cross: saving lives and expanding waistlines since 1863..
• Headline: THE BROADWAY STAGE HAS ITS FIRST WAR PLAY; Mr. Sherwood Weighs the Pro and Con of 'There a Shall Be No Night'. Impact: The first war play on Broadway opened the floodgates for dramatic interpretations of war, eventually leading to the modern trend of 'all the world's a stage' where even real-life disasters get their own Broadway musical.. Fact: Nothing says 'let's reflect on the horrors of war' like a catchy show tune. Who knew PTSD could also come with a chorus line?.
• Headline: Latest Books Received; Latest Books Received. Impact: The release of 'Dangerous Young Man' led to a moral panic that swept across the nation, causing parents to lock up their children and hide the car keys, inadvertently creating a generation of rebellious teens who lived for the thrill of sneaking out.. Fact: Dangerous young men have been around forever, but it turns out they’re usually just misunderstood poets with a penchant for leather jackets and late-night coffee runs..
• Headline: THE STALWART ETHAN ALLEN; Stewart Holbrook's Biography Brings Him Rousingly to Life. Impact: Stewart Holbrook's biography of Ethan Allen reignited interest in the American Revolutionary War, leading to a bizarre resurgence of colonial reenactors who mistakenly thought they could also time travel. Spoiler alert: they couldn't.. Fact: Ethan Allen was not only a revolutionary leader but also an early proponent of 'speak softly and carry a big stick'—or in his case, a very large axe..
• Headline: CRITICIZES CITIES FOR REALTY DECAY; Loan Bank Member Says Civic Officials Must Take Lead in Rehabilitation CAUSES BIG REVENUE LOSS F.W. Catlett Points Out Two Projects Under Way to Reclaim Old Areas. Impact: F.W. Catlett's critique of urban decay led to a national obsession with 'upcycling' old buildings, ironically resulting in a new generation of hipster coffee shops in formerly dilapidated areas, where the price of a latte can rival a small mortgage.. Fact: Civic officials may not have cared about real estate decay, but they sure loved the tax benefits from all those trendy new businesses popping up..
• Headline: ABOUT EAGLES AND HORSES. Impact: The mention of eagles and horses sparked a bizarre movement where people began to experiment with crossbreeding animals, ultimately leading to the creation of the mythical creature known as the 'Eagle Horse', which haunted the dreams of those who dared to dream big.. Fact: If you think about it, horses are just really big, strong dogs. So, why not add wings and make them even more impractical?.