APRIL 8, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Call for Businessman in SEC Role. Impact: This urgent appeal for a businessman to fill a SEC vacancy inadvertently triggered decades of corporate influence over government, leading to the creation of the infamous 'revolving door' policy. Welcome to the land of lobbying!. Fact: Businessmen filling government positions is like letting the fox guard the henhouse—only the fox has a better suit..
• Headline: Amherst Professor Gets Columbia History Post. Impact: The appointment of a history professor at Columbia led to a prestigious lineage of historians who would later misquote historical facts and confuse students into thinking that the Renaissance was a type of pasta.. Fact: Fun fact: History is just one big game of telephone played over centuries, with everyone adding their own spicy twists..
• Headline: French Play at Hunter Today. Impact: The burlesque of a Racine tragedy inadvertently inspired future French clubs to embrace the art of parody, leading to an era where even the most tragic plays became fodder for comedic sketches. Who knew tragedy could be so funny?. Fact: The French have perfected the art of making even the most dire situations seem like a circus—maybe that’s why they have the best pastries!.
• Headline: PERSONALITY OF MAN; Christ's Belief in Its Inviolability Held Necessity of Democracies. Impact: This sermon on Christianity led to a renewed focus on morality in democracies, which, over time, led to a lot of very moral politicians who, ironically, were some of the least moral people in private.. Fact: Christianity: inspiring people to act morally while simultaneously making politicians feel really good about their questionable choices since... well, forever..
• Headline: American Clipper Arrives. Impact: The arrival of the American Clipper in NYC marked the beginning of a love affair with speed and efficiency that would eventually give rise to the modern obsession with delivery services—because who doesn’t love pizza at your door in 30 minutes or less?. Fact: Clipper ships were the original Uber Eats, just with more sails and fewer delivery fees..
• Headline: FAVERSHAM DIES; FAMOUS AS ACTOR; FAVERSHAM AS HE WAS BEST REMEMEERED. Impact: The death of William Faversham led to a cultural shift where aspiring actors began to believe that only tragic deaths could secure their legacy, setting the stage for much too dramatic acceptance speeches at award shows.. Fact: William Faversham: because even in death, he knew how to keep the drama alive..
• Headline: Moscow Honors 11,744 of Army. Impact: Honoring 11,744 army men became an annual tradition that spiraled into the modern military awards system, leading to an ongoing debate about whether medals should be given for bravery or simply for showing up.. Fact: Getting honored in the military is basically like receiving participation trophies, but with more medals and fewer cupcakes..