APRIL 7, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Welfare Jobs Employment Record Reported. Impact: The record on welfare jobs led to a massive uptick in the number of people who started using the phrase 'welfare state' in casual conversations. This resulted in a nationwide debate that caused a surprising number of college students to pursue degrees in political science, leading to the eventual rise of 'armchair politicians' who know absolutely nothing but will argue for hours.. Fact: Did you know that 'welfare jobs' can also refer to the positions held by people who are really just there for the free donuts at meetings?.
• Headline: Window Displays Support New York Relief Efforts. Impact: The dramatic window displays were so effective that they inspired a new generation of dramatic art movements. The influence of this retail performance art eventually led to the birth of 'window display therapy' where people stood outside stores to reflect on their life choices, often while being rained on.. Fact: Because nothing says 'I care about the community' like a massive window display of discount shoes. Who needs real charity when you have a good sale?.
• Headline: New Insights Into Tooth Enamel Growth. Impact: The discovery of tooth enamel growth in two processes led to a dental renaissance. Suddenly, everyone wanted to know the secrets to perfect teeth. This obsession sparked the invention of the selfie, as people wanted to showcase their pearly whites, inadvertently leading to the rise of influencers and the hashtag #ToothGoals.. Fact: Tooth enamel is the hardest substance in the human body. Too bad it doesn't come with a manual on how to keep it intact after a week of eating candy..
• Headline: AT THE WHEEL. Impact: The Highway Safety Commission's comments eventually led to an increase in 'drive-thru' safety measures, which was a direct precursor to the invention of the drive-thru coffee shop. This revolutionized caffeine consumption, allowing people to multitask their morning rush and their morning existential crises.. Fact: Highway safety is important, but have you ever tried driving while texting? Oh wait, don't do that. Just kidding, please don't..
• Headline: LAREDO AIDS THE TOURIST. Impact: Laredo's push to aid tourism resulted in an influx of visitors who thought they were going to a quaint little town, only to find themselves in the middle of a bustling border city. Eventually, this led to the popular tourist slogan: 'Laredo: more than just a stop on your way to somewhere else!'. Fact: Laredo is famous for its rich culture! That’s right, you can experience the charm of a border town while dodging traffic and tour buses. So exciting!.
• Headline: 141 Forced Sales Are Listed in Quarter; $18,018,510 Liens Foreclosed in Manhattan. Impact: The forced sales in Manhattan created a ripple effect that led to the rise of DIY home renovation shows. As people saw their neighbors' misfortunes, they decided to tackle their own homes, ultimately leading to an explosion of overzealous home improvement projects across the country.. Fact: Forcing sales sounds harsh, but if you've ever tried to sell a house, you might agree that it's a little like herding cats—if the cats were also trying to eat your furniture..
• Headline: SUMMONED TO COURT AGAIN; Radio Men See Question of Government Power Over Industry Linked With Reopening of Television Case. Impact: The court summons for radio men linked to the FCC's power over the industry led to a series of debates about the role of government in media, ultimately resulting in the creation of countless conspiracy theories about mind control through radio waves. Thanks, FCC!. Fact: The government regulating media is like a parent trying to control a teenager's music playlist—good luck with that!.
• Headline: NOTES OF CAMERA WORLD; Print Analysis Chart. Impact: The notes on camera world inspired a generation of aspiring photographers to take a million pictures of their food, which led to the rise of Instagram and the inevitable decline of real-world conversations. Thank you, photography courses!. Fact: Summer photographic courses are the only classes where students can justify spending their entire summer taking pictures of sunsets instead of studying..