MARCH 18, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bristol Choir Concert with Barr Quartet. Impact: The Bristol Choir concert was so riveting that it inspired a generation of tone-deaf children to join choirs, leading to the invention of auto-tune—a true testament to the power of mediocre singing.. Fact: Fun fact: The Bristol Choir once attempted to sing the national anthem and it resulted in a minor diplomatic incident..
• Headline: Schnabel Soloist in Mozart Concertos. Impact: Schnabel's performance of Mozart's concertos caused a ripple effect that led to an explosion of classical music appreciation, resulting in a significant increase in hipsters buying vinyl records in the 21st century.. Fact: Did you know that Mozart wrote his music in a time when the only way to 'stream' it was to actually perform it live? Shocking!.
• Headline: DR. MILLIKAN DOUBTS COSMIC RAY UTILITY; Back From Study at Equator, He Cites Repulsion by Earth. Impact: Dr. Millikan's doubts about cosmic rays set back the study of astrophysics by approximately three weeks, as scientists everywhere spent that time debating whether they were actually just space bugs.. Fact: Cosmic rays are actually just the universe's way of saying 'hello!'—or at least that's what the conspiracy theorists would have you believe..
• Headline: EDSON K. BIXBY, 52, MIDWESTERN EDITOR; Executive in Springfield, Mo., and Muskogee, Okla., Is Dead. Impact: Edson K. Bixby's death led to a sudden increase in newspaper typos, as editors everywhere scrambled to fill the void of clarity he left behind. Not a single editor learned a thing.. Fact: Did you know that every time an editor misses a typo, a grammar fairy loses its wings? It's a tragedy of epic proportions..
• Headline: SWEDES BARE FEAR OF ALLIED DESIGNS; Foreign Minister Says Aid for Finland Was Planned to Open Drive at Germany. Impact: Sweden's fears regarding Allied designs led to a wave of neutrality that lasted for decades, eventually inspiring an entire generation of 'neutral' teenagers who just didn't want to pick sides at lunch.. Fact: Sweden has a long history of neutrality, dating back to the time when they decided to stay out of serious conversations and just focus on meatballs..
• Headline: Free Ports in Scandinavia Held Next Soviet Demand. Impact: The speculation about the USSR's demands for free ports led to a panic that caused several panic-buying sprees on canned goods, sparking the first 'prepper' trend long before it was cool.. Fact: You might think that canned goods are only for survivalists, but they were once considered gourmet in the hands of a 1950s housewife..
• Headline: RAGNINY RITES TODAY; Veteran Aided in Rescue of Col. Donovan Under Fire in War. Impact: The ceremony for Michl M. Ragniny became a symbol of valor that inspired long-winded speeches at every graduation ceremony henceforth, leading to a collective groan heard around the world.. Fact: Did you know that veterans are often celebrated, but the real heroes are those who endure long speeches without falling asleep?.
• Headline: ITALY'S ROLE IN WAR SEEN AS MAIN ISSUE; WHERE LEADERS OF THE ROME-BERLIN AXIS WILL HOLD CONFERENCE TODAY. Impact: Italy's role in the war discussions led to a culinary revolution as pizza became a symbol of rebellion, eventually sparking the pizza chain explosion of the late 20th century. Thanks, Mussolini!. Fact: Did you know that the original pizza was not delivered by a guy on a scooter? Shocking, right?.