MARCH 11, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Henry H. Sevier: Diplomat & Editor. Impact: Sevier's untimely demise triggered a chain reaction that led to the rise of a completely unnecessary diplomatic crisis over the proper way to mourn a former ambassador. Fast forward to today: we now have an annual event called 'Sevier's Sadness', where diplomats awkwardly try to outdo each other in displaying sorrow.. Fact: Did you know that being a friend of Col. House means you had a direct line to some of the most confusing and convoluted political decisions of the early 20th century? That’s like having a friend who’s really good at ruining parties..
• Headline: New Housing Applications Open in NYC. Impact: This innocuous headline led to a surge in urban planning debates that spiraled out of control, culminating in the creation of a reality show called 'Roommate Roulette', where complete strangers compete for city housing.. Fact: Did you know that applying for a room back then was akin to entering a lottery? Only without the flashy commercials or an actual chance of winning something worthwhile..
• Headline: MICHAEL W. GOODIN; Head of Hotel Adelphia Corp., Philadelphia, Dies in Garage. Impact: Goodin's sudden passing sparked a wave of conspiracy theories suggesting he discovered a secret about hotel management and the automotive industry, leading to a long-lost manuscript that could've revolutionized both. Spoiler: it was just a manual on how to park.. Fact: Parking in a garage is a skill that many have yet to master. Goodin’s unfortunate end serves as a reminder to always check your surroundings—especially when parking..
• Headline: 6,000 POLICE MARCH TO HOLY NAME MASS; Archbishop Officiates at the Cathedral Service--Valentine in Plea for Courtesy FOLEY LAUDS THE SOCIETY At Breakfast of Xavier Alumni Justice Daly Says President Fears for Youth. Impact: This massive display of police solidarity led to an unexpected trend in policing, where officers began practicing their marching skills for parades rather than focusing on actual law enforcement—resulting in a series of overly choreographed arrests.. Fact: Did you know that mass gatherings of police often result in more marching practice than crime fighting? Who knew the real crime was a lack of rhythm?.
• Headline: Garment Union Holds Concert. Impact: This concert not only entertained garment workers but also inspired the birth of ‘Fabric Fest’, an annual concert series featuring bands named after various textiles. It's all the rage now—who doesn’t want to rock out to 'Cotton Candy Crush'?. Fact: You know a union is serious about its cause when they throw a concert. Just imagine: 'One, two, three, four—let's sew this contract right to the floor!'.
• Headline: HOUSE RESISTANCE TO FARM BILL RISE PLANNED BY BLOC; Economy Group Prepares for Expected Senate Approval of $309,793,584 Jump WARNS OF TAX INCREASE Hatch to Fight Shelving of 'Clean Politics' Bill--House Turns to Naval Expansion. Impact: The resistance to the farm bill resulted in a series of debates so convoluted they inspired the creation of the 'Politician's Guide to Dodging Real Issues'. Today, it’s an essential read for aspiring lawmakers.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing growing faster than the budget deficit was the number of excuses politicians had for avoiding tough decisions? They might as well start charging admission..