MARCH 8, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Students Value Unselfishness in 1940 Poll. Impact: The emphasis on unselfish traits at an art school somehow led to an unexpected rise in abstract art. Turns out, when students think about others, they create bizarre paintings that no one understands, changing the art scene forever.. Fact: They say art is subjective, but apparently, so is the concept of 'unselfishness'—just ask any starving artist!.
• Headline: Westchester Toll Bridge Construction Accelerates. Impact: Rushing the toll bridge construction sparked a nationwide trend of hastily built infrastructure, leading to the infamous ‘Bridge to Nowhere’ craze. Who needs safety inspections when you can just open the toll booths?. Fact: In a shocking twist, the toll bridge became the site of countless first dates, proving that love really does conquer all—especially when there’s a toll booth involved..
• Headline: Tributes for Finley: A Time to Mourn. Impact: The mourning of Finley set off a chain reaction of sympathy messages that eventually led to the invention of the sympathy card. Not quite Hallmark’s finest hour, but hey, it’s the thought that counts.. Fact: Sending condolence messages can sometimes feel like a group project where you did all the work, but everyone gets credit for your heartfelt words!.
• Headline: MISSING PROFESSOR FOUND; Wife Says Fordham Instructor Is With Brother in Jersey. Impact: The missing professor saga sparked a new trend in academia: The 'Find a Professor' app, which has since become wildly popular among students who can’t keep track of their instructors.. Fact: This incident highlights the universal truth that professors are just as lost as their students sometimes—especially when family is involved!.
• Headline: HOUSE VOTES ICKES $118,578,187 FUNDS; $1,000,000 Cut From Budget for the Bituminous Coal Commission's Uses UTAH PROJECT GETS MORE Added $500,000 Given to Provo Reclamation on Special Request of Roosevelt. Impact: The House vote on Ickes' funding led to a political circus where every state wanted their slice of the budget pie. The resulting chaos inspired a new reality show: 'Survivor: Congressional Edition.'. Fact: You know it’s bad when a budget meeting feels more dramatic than a soap opera. Who knew financial debates could lead to such riveting television?.
• Headline: STOCKHOLM POLICY EXPECTED TO SHIFT; Army of 50,000 May Be Sent to Finland if the Soviet Peace Terms Are Too High. Impact: The anticipated shift in Stockholm's policy regarding troops in Finland led to a temporary increase in the number of armchair generals worldwide, setting the stage for countless unsolicited opinions on military strategy.. Fact: If only the army could tap into the vast knowledge of social media warriors—who knew couch-sitting could prepare you for combat?.
• Headline: Vote Philadelphia Water Loan. Impact: The Philadelphia Water Loan vote resulted in a wave of public trust issues, creating an underground movement of conspiracy theorists claiming the water was being replaced with lemonade. Because, why not?. Fact: Improving the water system was so successful that it led to a brief period where everyone thought they were drinking fine wine. Spoiler alert: It was still just water..
• Headline: Farming on Factory Scale Balks Migrants in Search of Living Wage; Employer-Growers in California's Vast and Varied Industry Control Labor Policies Amid Endless Conflict. Impact: The conflict over labor policies in California’s agricultural sector led to the rise of the ‘Farmers' Union’ and a yearly festival dedicated to the misunderstood avocado, forever changing the way we view brunch.. Fact: In a shocking twist, this conflict led to the creation of the 'Migrant Farmers' Guide to Surviving the Corporate Takeover'—a bestseller among those who just want a living wage!.