MARCH 5, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Con Edison Election Ordered by NLRB. Impact: This election sparked a revolution in labor rights that led to the creation of the world's first unionized superhero, Captain Collective Bargaining, who fights for workers' rights across time and space.. Fact: Did you know that the NLRB stands for 'Never-Let-Robots-Boss-you'? Just kidding, but wouldn't that be something?.
• Headline: Roosevelt Signs Farm Debt Act Extension. Impact: This act eventually led to the invention of the first edible mortgage payment, which farmers ate instead of paying their debts. Spoiler: It didn't taste so good.. Fact: Fun fact: Farmers once joked that their mortgages were like bad crops—full of weeds and impossible to get rid of!.
• Headline: Ice Storm Disrupts WABC Broadcasting. Impact: This storm caused a temporary blackout, leading to a surge in book sales as people rediscovered the joys of reading—until they got back to binge-watching TV shows.. Fact: Did you know that this was the first time people realized how much they depended on TV? It was a dark time—literally..
• Headline: Bail for Noles Brothers. Impact: This event ultimately led to a reality TV show about bootleggers, which would inspire future generations to take up more legal and less entertaining professions.. Fact: Ironically, the Noles Brothers were never actually known for their liquor; they were just really into home brewing... and by 'home,' I mean 'in a barn.'.
• Headline: Lynch Takes Seat in House. Impact: This event marked the beginning of a long tradition of politicians taking their seats only to forget where they put them, resulting in endless searches during legislative sessions.. Fact: Fun fact: Lynch's first order of business was to find a comfortable chair—because priorities!.
• Headline: Topics of The Times. Impact: The discussion on suppression led to a secret society of thinkers who would hold their meetings in basements, ultimately giving rise to the first ‘Thoughts and Tacos’ night.. Fact: Did you know that the suppressive regimes were actually just misunderstood? They thought they were just practicing extreme minimalism!.
• Headline: TO TEST SEAPLANE BASE; Pan American to Try All Lanes at La Guardia Field Today. Impact: This test paved the way for the first underwater airport, which later became the site of a popular submarine race. Spoiler: The fish always won.. Fact: Did you know that testing seaplane bases is like testing the waters? Literally, and metaphorically—just don't bring your floaties!.
• Headline: CHILE PICKS U.S. PAIR FOR EXCHANGE STUDY; Young Women Candidates Win Fellowships for Research. Impact: This exchange program eventually led to a cultural phenomenon where students mistakenly believed that all Chileans were just waiting to teach them how to dance the tango.. Fact: Did you know that 'exchange student' is just a fancy way of saying 'I need an excuse to travel and eat exotic foods'?.
• Headline: House Group Byrd Expedition Funds; Action May Shorten His Stay in Antarctica; HOUSE GROUP BARS BYRD POLAR FUNDS. Impact: This funding dispute resulted in Byrd becoming the first person to discover the true meaning of 'cabin fever,' leading him to write a bestselling book on the subject titled ‘Chillin’ in Antarctica.’. Fact: Did you know that Byrd once tried to order a pizza in Antarctica? Unfortunately, the delivery guy got lost—forever!.