FEBRUARY 24, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Banking Pioneer James I. Easton Passes Away. Impact: The death of James I. Easton triggered the establishment of a top-secret society of bankers who conspired to control real estate prices across the nation, leading to the skyrocketing cost of avocado toast in 2020. Thanks, Easton!. Fact: Did you know that every time a banker dies, a new financial conspiracy theory is born? It’s like a twisted version of 'The Circle of Life.'.
• Headline: Paramount Purchases 'Follow Through'. Impact: Paramount's purchase of 'Follow Through' inadvertently led to Bob Hope and Bing Crosby's legendary road movies, which in turn inspired countless buddy comedies. Without this deal, modern cinema might not exist – and we would be stuck watching silent films!. Fact: Fun fact: Bob Hope and Bing Crosby had such a great chemistry that some say their friendship was the first recorded instance of bromance. They practically invented the genre!.
• Headline: Hopson Fees Investigation by Power Board. Impact: The $4,000,000 fee controversy became the catalyst for the 'Great Service Charge Uprising' of 1940, where citizens rallied against hidden fees, leading to the creation of overpriced lattes – because nothing says rebellion like overpriced caffeine. Fact: Did you know that if you stack all the service fees charged by companies since 1938, they would reach to the moon? Unfortunately, the fees don't include a free trip back down.
• Headline: CAPSHAW LOSES PLEA TO APPEAL DISMISSAL; Appellate Division Rejection Leaves One Path Still Open. Impact: Capshaw's failed appeal set a precedent for lawyers everywhere to charge exorbitant fees for cases they know will fail, creating an inflationary cycle in legal costs that led directly to the invention of the phrase 'lawyered it away.'. Fact: Did you know that the legal profession is one of the few that can claim to have a higher failure rate than most reality TV shows? At least the drama is real!.
• Headline: La Guardia Drops Out of Illinois Primary; 'Phooey!' He Says of Republican Aspirants; MAYOR WON'T RUN IN ILLINOIS PRIMARY. Impact: La Guardia's withdrawal from the Illinois primary caused a ripple effect, leading to the rise of anti-establishment candidates, which eventually paved the way for reality TV stars to run for office. Thanks, Fiorello, for starting that slippery slope!. Fact: Did you know that La Guardia was so popular he once read the comics to children in hospitals? Meanwhile, modern politicians are just reading tweets. Progress?.
• Headline: BURKEMO HALTS CHAPMAN; Takes Palm Beach Golf Final From Greenwich Ace, 3 and 2. Impact: Burkemo's victory at the Palm Beach Golf Final set off a nationwide obsession with golf that had people questioning their life choices while standing in line to buy overpriced clubs. This led to an explosion of golf memes that would haunt the internet for decades. Fact: Did you know that golf is the only sport where you can yell 'fore!' and still be considered polite? Try doing that in a library.
• Headline: HOUSE, 216 TO 168, VOTES EXTENSION OF TRADE PACT ACT; Administration Beats Down All 24 Amendments, and Bill Goes to Senate DISNEY'S TEST IS CLOSEST Democrat Beaten, 164 to 155, on Ban on Excise Tax Changes --Hull Voices Pleasure. Impact: The House vote on the Trade Pact Act was a major turning point, leading to a political climate where every vote became a soap opera, complete with plot twists and dramatic exits. Who knew politics could be more entertaining than daytime TV?. Fact: Did you know that every time a trade agreement passes, a new conspiracy theory about global domination is born? Thanks, Congress!.
• Headline: WOMEN VOLUNTEER IN WELFARE DRIVE; Council Headed by Ex-Justice Kenyon Discusses Plans for New York Fund WORKERS IN MANY FIELDS Winthrop Rockefeller Tells Group 1940 Goal Is 50% Greater Than Last Year. Impact: The welfare drive led by women volunteers established the 'Women Are Unstoppable' movement, which eventually influenced the feminist movements of the 1960s. So, yes, you can thank a bunch of dedicated volunteers for the rise of girl power!. Fact: Did you know that Winthrop Rockefeller was not just a politician but also a fan of the phrase 'let's make fundraising great again'? Okay, maybe not, but he definitely set the bar high for subsequent campaigns!.