FEBRUARY 22, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mrs. Roosevelt Joins Zoological Society. Impact: Mrs. Roosevelt's influence on animal welfare led to a future where pet owners insist on gluten-free, organic kibble for their dogs. The canine elite now have personal trainers.. Fact: Fun fact: Mrs. Roosevelt was known for her love of animals. This may explain why her husband seemed to have a soft spot for the 'pawsitive' side of politics..
• Headline: Soviet Support for China Amidst Conflict. Impact: This support inadvertently set the stage for future international relations, leading to a series of awkward UN meetings where everyone pretends to play nice but secretly holds grudges.. Fact: Did you know that this was just one of many times the Soviets decided to back someone? They were basically the friend who always picks the worst movies..
• Headline: LAWYER 'REFERENCES' SURVEYED BY COURT; Brooklyn Appellate Bench Seeks to Improve System. Impact: The quest for better legal references sparked a series of courtroom drama shows, leading to a rise in lawyer-themed reality TV that we didn't know we desperately needed.. Fact: Lawyers need references like fish need bicycles. But apparently, the Brooklyn Appellate Bench thought otherwise!.
• Headline: Toscanini in Newark. Impact: Toscanini's concert in Newark led to a brief musical renaissance, inspiring a generation of hipsters to claim they loved classical music long before it was cool. Thanks, Toscanini!. Fact: Toscanini was known for his intense conducting style. One can only imagine the symphonic drama unfolding in Newark—like a soap opera, but with violins..
• Headline: DOMINICANS RATIFY REFUGEE CONTRACT; Immediate Settlement of 500 European Families Planned. Impact: The ratification of this contract unknowingly set a precedent for refugee policies worldwide, influencing debates and policies that still create contention today.. Fact: The Dominican Republic stepped up to help refugees when many turned their backs. This act of humanity might just be the silver lining in a rather dark historical cloud..
• Headline: LEHMAN SANCTIONS JURY LIST INCREASE; Signs Measure Ending Year's Exemption Hitherto Allowed for Election Officials 10,000 PERSONS AFFECTED Bill Making Investments Received by a Trust Company a Stock Liability Is Approved. Impact: This legislative change caused a chain reaction that continues to affect election systems, leading to increasingly convoluted voting laws that confuse everyone, including the voters.. Fact: Lehman’s decision to increase the jury list is like deciding to add extra toppings to a pizza that was already too loaded—nobody asked for it, but here we are!.
• Headline: FREE ENTERPRISE HAILED; Dr. Stockdale Says Democracy Cannot Exist Without It. Impact: Dr. Stockdale’s proclamation led to the rise of countless entrepreneurs, some of whom are still trying to sell you their homemade kombucha and essential oils.. Fact: Free enterprise is often hailed as the backbone of democracy, which is ironic considering how many people just want to sell you things you don't need..
• Headline: LOUISIANA VICTOR WEIGHS REFORMS; Sam Jones, Who Crushed Long Machine, Also Sees End of 'Potato Legislatures' HIS RIVAL STILL HOLDS OUT But Mayor Maestri, Backer of Huey's Brother, Concedes He Went Down to Defeat. Impact: Sam Jones's victory over the Long Machine inspired future politicians to crush their opponents...with hashtags and memes instead of actual political reform.. Fact: The term 'Potato Legislatures' makes you wonder if they were filled with starch and just as hard to digest. But hey, at least they weren’t totally rotten!.
• Headline: AWARDS $3,000,000 TO CHRYSLER IDLE; Michigan Referee Overrules Commission Ruling Denying Benefits in a Shutdown DECISION EXCLUDES 23,000 Favoring 30,000, It Holds They Were Not Direct Participants --15 Days for Appeal. Impact: This decision inadvertently encouraged a national trend of workers trying to figure out how to get paid for just existing, leading to a series of 'idle' workshops across the country.. Fact: Who knew being idle could be so profitable? Chrysler workers must have been taking notes from the rest of us who excel at doing absolutely nothing!.