FEBRUARY 11, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Massive Investment in Research in 1940. Impact: The $150 million spent on research not only funded groundbreaking discoveries but also inadvertently led to an obsession with funding research on obscure topics like the mating habits of the common housefly, resulting in a new generation of entomologists who still can’t find a date.. Fact: Did you know that if you combined all the research budgets of fly enthusiasts, you could probably fund a small country? Or at least a very well-informed fly?.
• Headline: Stravinsky's Benefit Concert for War Relief. Impact: Stravinsky's benefit concert not only raised money for war victims but also set off a chain reaction where hipsters in the future would claim they 'discovered' classical music, leading to an ironic resurgence of interest in composers who were once 'uncool'.. Fact: Stravinsky once said he wanted to make music that would make people’s toes tap. Too bad it wasn’t a dance-off; we could have had a much more entertaining war..
• Headline: Dewey's Lincoln Dinner Highlights Competence. Impact: Dewey's search for competence led to a series of government reforms that inadvertently created a new reality TV show called 'Who Wants to Run a Country?', featuring contestants with no political experience whatsoever.. Fact: The concept of 'government in private life' is like a secret club where everyone pretends to have the answers but ends up just asking for more coffee and snacks..
• Headline: JERSEY HOMES INCREASE; Council Finds Inquiries Rising for Ownership in State. Impact: The increase in inquiries for Jersey homes sparked an unexpected real estate boom that led to a series of reality shows where people fought over the last remaining plots of land, inspiring future generations to take ownership of... their parents' basements.. Fact: Did you know that New Jersey's slogan is 'The Garden State'? Apparently, they decided that calling it 'The State Where Everyone is Looking for a House' was too on-the-nose..
• Headline: A PANORAMA OF THE 'THIRTIES; Frederick Lewis Allen Writes the Sequel to "Only Yesterday". Impact: Allen's sequel to 'Only Yesterday' created a literary trend that resulted in sequels for every book imaginable, including the infamous 'Fifty Shades of Yesterday', which was met with mixed reviews.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more challenging than writing a sequel is convincing people it’s not just a cash grab. Just ask any author!.
• Headline: Glass Workers Sign Contract. Impact: The glass workers' contract signing not only secured better working conditions but also led to a burgeoning market for glass paperweights, which would eventually take over every office desk in America.. Fact: Did you know that glass workers are basically the hipsters of the manufacturing world? They were doing artisanal glasswork long before it was cool!.
• Headline: OPPOSES HAGUE CHOICE; Thomas Asks Senate Not to Back T.G. Walker for U.S. Court. Impact: Thomas's opposition to Hague's choice was the catalyst for the creation of countless political debates, where every senator suddenly became an expert on judicial nominations—unfortunately, none were actually qualified.. Fact: Did you know that political debates are like family dinners? They usually end up with someone being sent to their room for expressing an opinion..
• Headline: NEW ISSUES FROM AFAR; Nicaragua Celebrates the Visit Paid by Somoza To This Country. Impact: Nicaragua's celebration of Somoza's visit led to a series of diplomatic misunderstandings that resulted in an annual event where diplomats mistakenly exchanged recipes instead of treaties.. Fact: Did you know that international relations are often based on a shared love of food? Just imagine the world leaders arguing over who makes the best tacos!.