JANUARY 27, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: Beaux-Arts Ball: A Diamond Celebration. Impact: The Beaux-Arts Ball was so extravagant that it inspired a centuries-long tradition of people pretending their lives resemble a glamorous fairy tale, leading to countless awkward costume parties and Instagram selfies. Who knew diamonds could lead to so much faux royal drama?. Fact: The 'fantasy of jewels' was just a cover for the fact that most attendees were really there for the free hors d'oeuvres and the chance to say they 'knew' someone famous..
• Headline: Greek Bondholders Accept Interest Payment. Impact: Accepting a Greek payment at 43% interest became the blueprint for future generations of bondholders to invent creative math, convincing themselves that 43% is actually 100% if you squint hard enough.. Fact: This was the moment when bondholders realized that the term 'war interest' wasn’t just a financial term but also a great way to justify questionable investments. Who knew finance could be so... fun?.
• Headline: Mayor LaGuardia Welcomes Indian Delegation. Impact: Mayor LaGuardia's greeting of the Indian group sparked a series of cultural exchanges, leading to an explosion of 'fusion cuisine' decades later. So, thank you, Mayor, for our current obsession with curry tacos.. Fact: LaGuardia was known for his warm greetings, but little did he know that his casual hellos would one day lead to awkward small talk about political issues over samosas..
• Headline: SEC Hearing on Sisto & Co. to Open Feb. 1; Ban by Association of Dealers to Be Sifted. Impact: The SEC hearing on Sisto & Co. set a precedence for businesses to believe that they could simply appeal their way out of any problem. This eventually led to a world where everyone thinks they can negotiate their way out of a speeding ticket.. Fact: This hearing was so riveting that it inspired countless sitcoms about incompetent businessmen trying to navigate legal loopholes. Spoiler: they never win..
• Headline: GRUEN CALLS IN STOCK; Class A Preferred Will Be Redeemed Feb. 1. Impact: The redemption of Gruen class A preferred stock was such a pivotal moment that it inspired countless companies to come up with increasingly convoluted stock terms, leading to a financial jargon that would confuse even the most astute business majors.. Fact: People actually thought they could redeem their stocks for real-life rewards, like a lifetime supply of gluten-free bread. Spoiler: they were disappointed..
• Headline: TO DISCUSS REFUGEE AID; Jewish Council to Open ThreeDay Parley in Detroit Today. Impact: The Jewish Council's parley on refugee aid became the catalyst for countless humanitarian initiatives, eventually resulting in more funding for 'how to make awkward conversations about politics less awkward' workshops.. Fact: This three-day parley was less about the actual aid and more about who could bring the best kugel to the meeting. Food: the real international language..
• Headline: CHANGES RULE ON CAPITAL; Stock Exchange Gives Policy to Govern in Firms. Impact: The stock exchange's changes on capital rules led to a domino effect of confusing regulations, which eventually resulted in the creation of financial advisors who charge an arm and a leg to help you understand your own money.. Fact: The amended rules were so complex that even the accountants threw up their hands and just started making up terms like 'fiscal unicorn' to sound smart..
• Headline: SCREEN NEWS HERE AND IN HOLLYWOOD; Hughes Will Produce Stories by Hecht and Hemingway-- Signs Hawks as Director STALIN FILM CONSIDERED Fox Assigns Drake to Scenario on Dictator's Life--Autry Is Hailed by Children. Impact: Hughes producing stories by Hecht and Hemingway led to an explosion of literary adaptations, which eventually caused Hollywood to believe that every book deserved a movie, including your grandma's diary.. Fact: The idea of making a film about Stalin was so absurd that it was almost rejected until someone suggested it could be a comedy. Spoiler: it wasn't..
• Headline: EAGLES STOP ROVERS, 5-3; Washington Six Rallies to Win in Game on Home Rink. Impact: The Eagles' victory over the Rovers became a legendary event that led to the overhyped culture of sports fandom, where fans would later claim they were 'inspired' to pursue their own athletic careers, resulting in countless failed attempts at playing adult league soccer.. Fact: The 5-3 scoreline was so dramatic that it led to an entire generation of kids believing they could also turn their backyard games into epic battles worthy of newspaper headlines..
• Headline: 2 Porcelain Figures Bring $360. Impact: The sale of two porcelain figures for $360 initiated a trend where people began to value 'junk' at astronomical prices, leading to the modern hoarding culture where people now proudly display items they bought at garage sales for thousands.. Fact: This sale was the first time two porcelain figures were considered more valuable than some people's entire life savings. #ArtAppreciationFail..