JANUARY 18, 1940

Full News Archive

• Headline: CIO Representative Appointed to Insurance Council. Impact: G.A. Strebel's appointment to the Insurance Council sparked a chain reaction where C.I.O. representatives became the go-to people for insurance advice. Fast forward a few decades, and insurance companies started offering 'C.I.O. Approved' stickers, which somehow became more valuable than gold in the 2050s. Fact: Did you know that insurance council meetings often have more drama than reality TV? I mean, who doesn’t love a good debate over premium rates?.
• Headline: STEEL PLANT PLANS IN BRAZIL PUSHED; Formal Agreements Seen as Only Step Necessary to Start Building There. Impact: The push for steel plant plans in Brazil led to a bizarre timeline where Brazil became the steel capital of the world, causing other countries to start importing Brazilian music instead of steel. The samba became the official dance of industry. Fact: Who knew that steel could lead to samba? Next time you hear a steel drum, think of the construction workers just trying to keep the rhythm!.
• Headline: DONAHEY FILES FOR RACE; Seeks Ohio Votes in Democratic Presidential Primary. Impact: Donahey's filing for the Ohio primary somehow led to a weird alternate timeline where Ohio became the political epicenter of the universe. Every election cycle, the state was bombarded with time travelers trying to influence outcomes. Fact: Fun fact: Ohio is often called the 'swing state' because it swings back and forth like a pendulum trying to decide which side of history it wants to be on.
• Headline: SEES REICH AGAINST WAR; Villard Contends Big Majority of Germans Oppose Hitler. Impact: Villard's assertion about Germans opposing Hitler led to a secret society of peace-loving Germans who would later become the world's first band of time-traveling pacifists, trying to alter history one awkward conversation at a time. Fact: It’s wild to think that some Germans were against Hitler while others were enthusiastically waving flags. Talk about a divided nation—should have had a reality show for that!.
• Headline: GAINS IN PACKAGING LAID TO DEPRESSION; Research Was Spurred, Says Breskin, Opening Exhibit. Impact: Breskin's claims about packaging gains due to the depression caused major corporations to invest heavily in packaging research, which eventually resulted in the invention of the self-replicating package that now occupies more closet space than your childhood toys. Fact: Packaging research is so advanced now that your pizza box might just be smarter than you. It knows when you’re hungry before you do!.
• Headline: Will Cut PWA and USHA Staffs. Impact: The decision to cut PWA and USHA staffs was the first step in a long journey of bureaucratic downsizing that eventually gave birth to a new form of government: 'Less is More,' where agencies began communicating solely through interpretive dance. Fact: Did you know that the PWA's original mission was to build infrastructure? Now they just build suspense in government meetings!.