DECEMBER 12, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Admiral Yarnell Critiques Japanese Bombing. Impact: Admiral Yarnell's comments led to a secret meeting among global leaders in an underground lair where they unanimously decided that if they put 'Stupid' in the title of military strategies, maybe the world would listen. Spoiler alert: it didn't.. Fact: Did you know that calling something 'stupid' in military strategy is a classic move? It’s like putting a 'Do Not Enter' sign in front of a toddler's room..
• Headline: Norway Advocates for Peace in 1939. Impact: This peaceful proposal triggered a chain reaction resulting in one overly optimistic Norwegian trying to negotiate peace at a bar in Oslo, inadvertently starting a new trend in 'drunk diplomacy' that persists to this day.. Fact: Did you know that Norwegians are so peaceful that even their peace talks come with a side of lutefisk? Yum!.
• Headline: Piepul Named Captain of Notre Dame Football. Impact: Piepul's election as captain led to a series of unfortunate events that included an accidental mascot costume malfunction that changed the course of college sports. Go team, go! Or maybe not.. Fact: Did you know that Piepul is actually a term for a type of fullback in a parallel universe where footballs are made from cheese? True story..
• Headline: GERARD SWOPE HEAD OF HOUSING BOARD; Mayor Appoints Him Member and Authority Promptly Elects Him Chairman. Impact: Gerard Swope's rise to power inspired a cult of housing board members who believed they could commune with houseplants. Spoiler: the plants didn’t have much to say.. Fact: Did you know that being elected chairman of a housing board is the equivalent of being crowned king of the cardboard box? A truly noble title..
• Headline: LEISERSON STATES LABOR BOARD CASE; Member at House Hearing Says He Opposes Amending Law 'in Any Vital Respect' HITS DICTA ON UNION FORM Wagner Law Parallels Railway Labor Act, He Adds--Sees Errors in Administration. Impact: Leiserson's opposition to amendments ignited a series of labor disputes that led to the invention of the world's first 'protest dance,' forever changing how people express dissatisfaction.. Fact: Did you know that the Wagner Act was originally intended to help labor unions but somehow ended up being more confusing than IKEA assembly instructions?.
• Headline: LEADERS SEE MAYOR IN PICKETING ROW; He Promises Recommendation on Laundry Dispute. Impact: LaGuardia's promise to mediate the laundry dispute resulted in a fashion revolution, where people started wearing their laundry as a statement piece. Clean clothes became the new black.. Fact: Did you know that LaGuardia once tried to solve a laundry issue in a public park? Spoiler: it didn't involve washing anything..
• Headline: National City Victor, 3-2. Impact: The squash team's defeat by National City Bank inspired the first-ever squash charity event, where bankers and athletes awkwardly tried to play together and raise funds for something no one understood.. Fact: Did you know that squash is the only sport where getting hit in the face with a ball is considered a rite of passage? Talk about a 'hit' sport!.
• Headline: Henry Cotton, Star British Golfer, Marries; Bride Helped Him to Win Open Championship. Impact: Henry Cotton's marriage sparked a trend of golfers marrying their caddies, leading to a whole new classification of 'power couples' on the greens, with some of them still debating who really won the championship.. Fact: Did you know that Cotton's bride was also an aspiring golfer? Talk about a couple that swings together, stays together!.
• Headline: TEXAS WINS TEST ON FRANCHISE TAX; Levy on Ford Capital in Ratio to Business Done in State Upheld in Supreme Court CHAIN STORE CASE ON WAY Minnesota to Obtain Hearing --Alice G. Vanderbilt Estate Gets Orders for Review. Impact: The Supreme Court's ruling on the franchise tax led to an underground movement of tax evaders forming a secret society known as 'The Franchise Fighters,' who believed they could take on the IRS with nothing but charm and bad jokes.. Fact: Did you know that the case also inspired a reality show where tax lawyers compete to see who can make taxes the most entertaining? Spoiler: it wasn’t very entertaining..
• Headline: PRAVDA CITES 'CHISELERS'; Says Enemies of Soviet Try to Get Employment in Poland. Impact: Pravda's article inadvertently led to a rise in job applications from Soviet spies posing as Polish refugees, creating an entire generation of confused HR professionals trying to decipher the truth.. Fact: Did you know that 'chiselers' is a term that translates roughly to 'people who will do anything for a job,' which is eerily similar to job seekers in today’s economy?.