NOVEMBER 28, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Students Predict Italy's War Involvement. Impact: If only those seminarians had started a podcast instead, we might have avoided a whole lot of Italian pasta recipes being replaced with war plans. Who knew a few predictions could lead to years of spaghetti and soldiers?. Fact: Italy's involvement in World War II was influenced by more than just predictions—turns out, bad decisions are a historical constant!.
• Headline: Hospital Epidemic Contained Successfully. Impact: A health scare gets checked, but imagine if they hadn’t! We could have been living in a world where hospitals turned into theme parks instead of places to avoid at all costs. 'Welcome to Epidemic Land!'. Fact: The term 'epidemic' has been around since the 1600s, likely because people couldn’t just stay home and binge-watch Netflix..
• Headline: C.I.O. Talks Spark Hope in Chrysler Dispute. Impact: Ah, the age-old clash of unions and corporations. If only they'd settled it over a game of Monopoly, we could have avoided decades of labor disputes—and maybe a few broken friendships along the way.. Fact: The Chrysler talks involved more drama than a daytime soap opera, with more twists than a pretzel factory!.
• Headline: DIES IS TOLD REDS RUN TEACHER UNION; Control Here Is Called Strong --Mrs. Roosevelt Says She Is Willing to Testify Testifies on Teachers Local DIES IS TOLD REDS RUN TEACHER UNION Denial for Student Union. Impact: If the Reds had really infiltrated the teacher’s union, we could have ended up with a generation of students learning Marxism through interpretive dance. Thank goodness for Mrs. Roosevelt’s testimony!. Fact: The term 'Red Scare' refers not just to communists, but also to the alarming number of people who didn’t understand how to stop being alarmists!.
• Headline: DISBARMENT HEARING BEGUN ON WEISSMAN; Judge Acts as New Haven Lawyer Drops Not Guilty Tax Plea. Impact: One man's tax plea dropped could have led to a cascading effect of other lawyers giving up hope, potentially causing the entire legal system to collapse. Imagine a world without lawyers—chaos!. Fact: Disbarment hearings can be more thrilling than reality TV—who knew legal drama could rival the Kardashians?.
• Headline: Ecuadoreans Reject Ex-President. Impact: Rejecting an ex-president could have set the stage for a political renaissance in Ecuador, or just a really awkward family reunion next time he visits.. Fact: J. M. Velasco Ibarra was elected president five times, proving that sometimes you just can't get enough of a bad thing..
• Headline: MOSCOW REBUFFED; Finns Refuse to Leave Border, Denying They Fired on Russians MIXED INQUIRY IS ASKED Britain's Hope for a Peaceful Settlement Is Conveyed to Soviet by Halifax Conversations Are Invited Backing for Finland Hinted FINLAND REBUFFS SOVIET ON RETREAT Democracies Held Inconsistent Events in Rapid Sequence. Impact: Finns refusing to leave the border might have sparked an international game of 'who can hold their ground the longest'. Spoiler alert: it’s usually not the country with the most vodka.. Fact: The Winter War between Finland and the Soviet Union was like a bad breakup—neither side wanted to let go, but it was just too cold to keep fighting..
• Headline: LEGION URGED TO SHUN BROWDER'S YALE TALK; Protest Meeting Is Cautioned Against Disturbance. Impact: The Legion’s decision to shun Browder's talk could have led to a chain reaction of people avoiding public discourse altogether—imagine a world where everyone just silently judged each other!. Fact: In the world of protests, the only thing louder than a protestor is the sound of people pretending they don’t care..
• Headline: CHARGES OF FRAUD DENIED; Lawyer Defendants Sum Up in Investment Trust Case. Impact: If the charges of fraud were really true, we could have seen a massive influx of lawyers trying to cash in on a scandal—because what’s better than a good old-fashioned Ponzi scheme?. Fact: Investment scams have been around since the beginning of time, proving that there's always someone ready to take your money and run!.