NOVEMBER 18, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Millicent Bowring Engaged to Edward Whitney. Impact: Millicent Bowring's engagement set off a chain of events that would inspire countless rom-coms, leading to a generation of people believing they could find love in a coffee shop or during a disastrous family vacation. Thanks, Millicent!. Fact: Did you know that engagements often lead to wedding planning, which is statistically proven to cause more stress than an actual job? Better hope Edward F. Whitney has a good therapist!.
• Headline: Denmark Welcomes New Royal Heir. Impact: The announcement of Denmark's royal baby accidentally sparked a worldwide baby boom nine months later, as parents everywhere mistook the royal news as a sign that their own child would one day rule the world. Spoiler: they didn’t. Fact: Did you know that royal babies are the only babies that can cause both joy and envy in equal measure? It's a talent!.
• Headline: Wilson--Byer. Impact: The marriage of Wilson and Byer led to a family dynasty that would eventually dominate the local bakery scene, causing the price of pastries to skyrocket. Nothing says love like overpriced cupcakes!. Fact: Did you know that weddings are like a business merger? They can lead to sweet deals but also a lot of 'I do'-ing and 'I don't'-ing!.
• Headline: MAYOR AND DEWEY PLACED ON STAND BY KUHN DEFENSE; CALLED TO THE STAND AT KUHN TRIAL. Impact: The testimony of Mayor and Dewey at the Kuhn trial led to a series of political scandals that would make a reality show look tame. Who knew larceny could be such a gateway drug to chaos?. Fact: Did you know that being called to the stand often leads to more drama than a soap opera? Just wait until the cameras start rolling!.
• Headline: Old Maple Survives Defender. Impact: Mrs. J. May's survival against the odds led to a new trend in survival stories, inspiring countless reality shows and a booming industry in overpriced survival gear, because who doesn’t need a $200 knife?. Fact: Did you know that surviving something makes you an instant celebrity? Just ask any reality TV star who has survived a weekend camping trip!.
• Headline: POLLED ON PENSION PLAN; Police and Firemen Get Ballots on La Guardia Proposals. Impact: Polling police and firemen on a pension plan led to a massive uprising of union talks that eventually resulted in more donuts and coffee in break rooms everywhere. Because if you're going to negotiate, you might as well be well-fed!. Fact: Did you know that polling can lead to more confusion than clarity? Just ask anyone who's taken a political survey at the wrong time!.