NOVEMBER 6, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Dr. Dawson's Sermon on Body Dedication. Impact: Dr. Dawson’s sermon on dedication to God led to an unintended side effect: the rise of self-help books claiming ownership of one's body, which somehow turned into a cult of smoothie-drinking yoga enthusiasts who think they're enlightened.. Fact: Claiming your body as your own is actually a common legal loophole in the world of insurance fraud..
• Headline: Engagement Announcement of Erna Hofmann. Impact: The engagement of Erna Hofmann and Ernest Haberle led to a long line of lawyering couples—ironically, they never actually practiced law together after realizing they couldn't agree on anything, including what to have for dinner.. Fact: Engaged couples often spend more time planning their wedding than on their actual careers—priorities, right?.
• Headline: MAYOR COMES OUT AGAINST MUTUELS; AIDS COUNCIL SLATE; Views Amendment as a Step Toward 'Complete Let-Down' and Open Gambling CHURCH STAND IS STRONG Six Fusion Members of the Estimate Board Back Nonpartisan Council Choices Chance of Rejection Gains The Mayor's Statement MAYOR COMES OUT AGAINST MUTUELS Others Oppose Pari-Mutuels. Impact: The mayor's stern warning against pari-mutuel betting inadvertently led to the rise of underground bingo games in basements across the city, which are now known as the 'real' community centers.. Fact: Opposing gambling often backfires; it just makes the thrill of it more enticing—like telling a kid they can't have dessert..
• Headline: SAVINGS IN NATION 6 BILLIONS IN YEAR; But Virtually All Was by Top Third of Income Recipients, Survey for 1935-36 Shows OUTLAYS ARE ANALYZED Ratios of Costs for Major Consumer Needs Calculated for3 Economic Divisions Medical Care Outlays Current Consumption Disparity. Impact: The findings of savings concentrated among the top third of income recipients set off a series of economic discussions, culminating in the invention of the phrase 'trickle-down economics,' which is now widely regarded as a myth on par with Bigfoot.. Fact: The top 1% saving more money has been a trend since the beginning of time—it's like they have a secret stash of gold coins under their beds!.
• Headline: Mallet, British Aide in U.S., Named Envoy to Sweden. Impact: Mallet's appointment to Sweden initiated a chain of diplomatic relationships that resulted in Sweden becoming the go-to country for IKEA furniture and meatballs—because who doesn't want to assemble furniture with a side of deliciousness?. Fact: Sweden produces more furniture than all of the trolls in their forests combined—it's a fact!.
• Headline: World Series on Air To Be Investigated. Impact: The investigation into World Series broadcasts led to the eventual creation of sports streaming services, which now result in more people watching games on their phones than actually attending them—how's that for progress?. Fact: The first recorded instance of a sports fan being more invested in their fantasy team than their real-life team happened during this investigation!.
• Headline: ALERT OFFICER HALTS RISKY, CLIPPER FLIGHT; Engineer Finds a Wing Float Damaged, Stops Take-Off. Impact: The alert officer who halted the risky flight likely saved lives, leading to the creation of strict safety regulations that have made flying much more boring and far less adventurous than it used to be.. Fact: Every time a mechanic finds damage on a plane, a little part of a traveler's soul dies—because no one likes delays..