OCTOBER 19, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Kings Discuss Peace Amid Rising Tensions. Impact: If the kings had just sent a text instead of opening a parley, perhaps they could have avoided a world war. Instead, their indecisiveness set off a chain reaction leading to a century of conflict, with a few dozen awkward family reunions thrown in.. Fact: Parleys are like group therapy sessions for countries. Too bad they rarely work out, kind of like my attempts at healthy eating..
• Headline: Road Safety Linked to Improvements in Infrastructure. Impact: Linking road betterment to safety was such a groundbreaking idea that it took several decades for anyone to realize that better roads could also mean more speed. Thanks for the clarity, P.G. Hoffman!. Fact: Traffic fatalities could have been cut even more if people had just learned to use their turn signals. But who needs safety when you have a need for speed?.
• Headline: GERMANS MASSING TO RENEW ASSAULT; French Expect Reich to Go On With Drive in West That Was Checked on Monday. Impact: Germany massing troops to renew an assault was the historical equivalent of a cat sharpening its claws before pouncing. This little 'gathering' would lead to a whole lot of fuss and an international uproar.. Fact: The French expected the German assault as they expected their morning croissants—inevitably and with a side of anxiety..
• Headline: FIRST LADY'S REBUKE TO YOUTH GROUP ASKED; Provisional Committee Presses for Action on Red Issue. Impact: The First Lady's rebuke to youth groups was the equivalent of telling teenagers to get off their phones. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work, and they just continued texting each other about how unfair adults are.. Fact: Youth groups have been asking for adult validation since the dawn of time, but they usually just get told to clean their rooms..
• Headline: POLISH RELIEF AIDE HURT; H.W. Elkington Injured in Auto Crash on Way to Warsaw. Impact: H.W. Elkington’s injury in an auto crash on the way to Warsaw sparked a nationwide conversation about the dangers of multitasking—apparently, planning relief efforts while driving isn’t the best idea.. Fact: This wasn’t the first time an aide learned that trying to save the world can sometimes lead to a face-full of airbag..
• Headline: PONTIAC ON DOUBLE SHIFT; Dealers Held Prepared to Do 25 to 30% More Business. Impact: Pontiac going to double shifts is what we now call a classic case of overconfidence. Spoiler alert: they didn’t foresee the subsequent inventory pile-up and a world filled with unsold cars.. Fact: The optimism of car dealers is unparalleled; they can sell ice to Eskimos. Or, in this case, cars to people who don’t need them..
• Headline: PARK GROUP HAILS QUEENS PROJECTS; New Play Areas and Highways Are Viewed on Tour That Covers 60 Miles MOVE TO SAVE ALLEY POND Association Members Act to Preserve Historic Spot on Belt Parkway. Impact: The park group's efforts to save Alley Pond led to a legacy of environmental awareness that would be both celebrated and ignored by future generations. It’s the classic 'save the planet' while driving a gas-guzzler paradox.. Fact: Touring new play areas and highways is just another way of saying, ‘Look at all the places we can ruin with development!’.