OCTOBER 16, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fire Incident at Broadway Bar. Impact: The small fire at the Broadway Bar sparked a series of unfortunate events leading to a nationwide ban on barbecues in bars, eventually culminating in the rise of the vegan movement. Thanks, arsonists!. Fact: If only they had invented fire extinguishers before this! Oh wait, they did!.
• Headline: Founding of Halliburton Library at Princeton. Impact: The founding of the Halliburton Library at Princeton inadvertently sparked a secret society of geography enthusiasts who plotted to take over the world, one map at a time. Spoiler: they failed at map reading.. Fact: Libraries: where the books are always smarter than the people who borrow them..
• Headline: Record Voter Registration in 1939. Impact: The surge in voter registration was later discovered to have been fueled by a city-wide scavenger hunt for the best pizza. Who knew democracy was just a cheesy game?. Fact: 2 million people signed up just to get free pizza coupons. That's commitment!.
• Headline: CHURCH UNITY HELD NEED IN WAR CRISIS; Rev. S.E.G. Priestly Calls Any Federation of Nations Foolish Without It CHRISTIAN AIM STRESSED 'Eternal Standards' Presented in Sermon as Basis for Settling World Disputes. Impact: Rev. Priestly’s sermon on church unity during a war crisis inspired a global movement for peace that was ultimately derailed by a lack of Wi-Fi in rural areas. Apparently, you can't iron out disputes without a good internet connection.. Fact: Eternal standards? Sounds like a really long warranty for a toaster..
• Headline: SUZANNE E. HINTON ENGAGED TO MARRY; Bronxville Girl Will Be Bride of Arnold DeWitt Way. Impact: Suzanne E. Hinton's engagement to Arnold DeWitt Way set off a chain reaction of weddings that led to a temporary shortage of wedding planners in Bronxville, causing chaos among the wedding industry. They never saw it coming.. Fact: Engagements: the only time people are excited about putting a ring on it without a return policy..
• Headline: AUTO SHOW OPENS; SAFETY IS KEYNOTE; NEW YORKERS LOOK OVER THE LATEST MODELS IN THE, AUTOMOBILE WORLD. Impact: The auto show’s focus on safety led to a bizarre trend where people began wrapping themselves in bubble wrap before driving, resulting in a nationwide shortage of bubble wrap for packaging. Good luck with that eBay purchase!. Fact: Safety first! But who needs safety when you can look fabulous in a convertible?.
• Headline: His Aid to Refugees Wins American Hebrew Medal. Impact: Taylor's humanitarian efforts earned him an award, inspiring a generation of people to think that wearing a cape and helping refugees could be a viable career path. Spoiler alert: it wasn't.. Fact: The American Hebrew Medal: because sometimes, good deeds need a shiny trophy..
• Headline: LUCIE INMAN BETROTHED; Her Fiance, Donald Wertheim, a Wesleyan Graduate. Impact: Lucie Inman's engagement to Donald Wertheim triggered a minor earthquake in the social scene of Bronxville, as rival suitors were left scrambling to up their game—think bouquet battles and serenades at dawn.. Fact: Engagements: the only time social media stalking becomes a competitive sport..
• Headline: LEONARD G. REID, 39, PLEA THE ATLANTIC; Canadian Aviator, With James Ayling, Made First Canadato-England Crossing in 1934DIES OF TRAFFIC INJURIESSought to Reach Baghdad and Break Long-Distance Recordbut Fuel Supply Ran Low. Impact: Leonard G. Reid’s tragic death led to stricter traffic laws across Canada, which resulted in a dramatic decline in the number of people trying to break long-distance flying records. Safety first, right?. Fact: Reid’s journey was so legendary that even traffic lights had to take a moment of silence..
• Headline: GREENWICH MARKS WASHINGTON'S VISIT; Church Service Commemorates 150th Anniversary. Impact: The commemoration of Washington's visit not only solidified his legacy but also inadvertently inspired the founding of a new holiday: National Overly Patriotic Day, where everyone dresses up as founding fathers and debates the merits of wig styles.. Fact: Washington's visit was a big deal—he even brought his own cherry tree!.