SEPTEMBER 27, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: 'War' Unfamiliar to Eskimo People. Impact: This innocent lack of vocabulary led to an unexpected influx of linguistic tourists flocking to the Arctic, all trying to teach the locals about the concept of war. Little did they know, this would cause a spike in polar bear-themed war movies decades later.. Fact: Did you know that the Eskimo language has over 50 words for 'snow'? Just think what they could've done with 'war'!.
• Headline: Historic Manhattan Auctions of 1939. Impact: The frantic selling and buying of Manhattan properties set off a chain reaction that eventually led to the invention of the concept of 'sky-high' prices, which is still relevant today, especially when renting a closet in the city.. Fact: Fun fact: Manhattan auctions still happen today, but now they come with a side of artisanal avocados and overpriced lattes!.
• Headline: CIO Unions Negotiate Shorter Work Week. Impact: This negotiation for a shorter work week sparked a worldwide trend of workers demanding more time off, ultimately leading to the concept of 'working from home in pajamas' decades later. Thank you, aluminum!. Fact: Did you know that aluminum can actually be recycled infinitely? Kind of like your coworker’s excuses for not showing up to work!.
• Headline: FAIR CUTS ITS RATE TO FLAT 50 CENTS FOR ALL OCTOBER; Bargain Price to Apply Every Day From Sunday Until Close, Gibson Reveals DUE TO REMAIN NEXT YEAR City Notified 1940 Option Will Be Exercised--Whalen Ship Iverdue at Amsterdam Adjustment on Tickets FAIR CUTS ITS RATE TO FLAT 50 CENTS Concessionaries Mildly Approve A FORMER PRESIDENT TAKES IN THE WORLD'S FAIR. Impact: The decision to cut rates created a cultural phenomenon where everyone rushed to fairs, inadvertently inspiring the creation of Black Friday—now, instead of rides and games, it’s all about trampling your fellow shoppers.. Fact: Here’s a wild thought: if only they had cut their prices on kale chips instead of carnival rides, maybe our hips would thank them!.
• Headline: POLISH TREASURE SAVED; 60 Trucks Unload Secretly at the Bank of Rumania. Impact: The secret unloading of treasures led to a sudden rise in European conspiracy theories about hidden riches, forever changing the art of treasure hunting—and, of course, inspiring countless Hollywood blockbusters.. Fact: Interestingly, this event led to the creation of a new game: 'Where’s Waldo?' but with much more valuable artifacts..
• Headline: FRENCH ARTILLERY POUNDS WESTWALL; German Raid Repulsed in Dawn Battle--Allies Go Forward on the Hornbach Salient. Impact: This intense battle not only shaped the course of the war but also sparked a series of motivational posters that would encourage future generations to 'just keep fighting'—if only they had known about mental health awareness.. Fact: The irony? This battle likely inspired a slew of French restaurants to pop up, serving ‘victory’ pastries that no one could resist!.
• Headline: Old Neutrality Act amd New Bill. Impact: The changes in neutrality laws caused a ripple effect of confusion and loopholes that would haunt lawmakers for decades, ultimately leading to the infamous phrase 'It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.'. Fact: Isn't it amusing how changing laws just creates more lawyers? They must love these neutrality acts like kids love candy!.
• Headline: NEW GREEK FORTS READY; Athens Discloses Work on the Albanian and Bulgarian Borders. Impact: These fortifications inadvertently inspired a trend in the architectural community, leading to a widespread preference for 'fortified' homes, which were all the rage during the subsequent decades of paranoia.. Fact: Did you know that if you build a fort in your backyard today, it’s called a 'man cave'? Who knew the Greeks were ahead of their time!.
• Headline: CONANT CONFIDENT WORLD WILL GO ON; Tells Harvard Students War Will End in Their Youth and Not Wreck All Culture SMITH GIRLS EXHORTED Mrs. Morrow, Miss Comstock and Dr. Lewis Address Their Students at Convocations. Impact: This optimistic speech led to a generation of college students believing that the world would always recover, which eventually resulted in them completely ignoring climate change until it was too late. Thanks, Dr. Conant!. Fact: If only he had predicted that Harvard would eventually become a symbol of student debt and overpriced textbooks instead of cultural preservation!.
• Headline: BRITAIN AND GERMANY ALIKE ON CONTRABAND; Lists of Belligerents Also Resemble Our 1917 Order. Impact: This startling similarity in contraband lists may have prompted future governments to rethink their strategies on how to prevent history from repeating itself—spoiler alert: it didn’t work.. Fact: In case you were wondering, contraband lists haven’t changed much over the years—just like our obsession with 'forbidden fruit' snacks!.