AUGUST 27, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Kennedy Family's London Homecoming. Impact: Little did they know that this trip would eventually spark a trend of American celebrities thinking they were royalty. The Kardashians would later take that to a whole new level, complete with reality TV. Fact: The Kennedys are basically the Kardashians of their time—famous for being famous, but with fewer selfies and more political drama.
• Headline: Hoover Warns Against Consequences of War. Impact: Hoover's warning about war was the geopolitical equivalent of a 'keep off the grass' sign—it was ignored, and the world just kept trampling forward into chaos. Thanks for the heads-up, Herbert!. Fact: Herbert Hoover was not just a president; he was also a great predictor of doom, much like your overly cautious friend who warns you against eating that questionable taco.
• Headline: GAINS IN BUILDING HAILED IN NASSAU; State FHA Head Finds County Rivaling Queens in Rise of Home Construction Average Mortgage Is $5,300. Impact: The construction boom in Nassau laid the foundation for future suburban sprawl, leading to the creation of endless cul-de-sacs and the eventual rise of the garage sale culture. Thank you, FHA!. Fact: In 1950s America, the average mortgage was about $5,300. Today, that might buy you a shoebox in a questionable neighborhood. Progress!.
• Headline: LOCAL ANGLERS TO FIGHT BATTLING TUNA; Contests for Big Game Fish Spread Along Atlantic From Jersey to Nova Scotia An International Test History of the "Tunny" Tourneys Smoothly Run. Impact: This angler rivalry would lead to the formation of the International Tuna Federation, which eventually became embroiled in a scandal involving tuna-sized trophies and questionable fishing techniques. The fish were not amused. Fact: Fishing tournaments have evolved from simple contests to drama-filled reality shows—who knew that catching a fish could lead to such a tangled web of intrigue?.
• Headline: Residents of Moriches Urge Inlet Be Improved. Impact: The push for inlet improvements sparked a series of local government debates that ultimately led to the 'Great Inlet Wars' of the 1980s, where residents fought valiantly over who could name the inlet after their cat. Fact: Inlet improvements are like family therapy for bodies of water—everyone wants to be heard, but nobody really knows how to fix the problem.
• Headline: 53,687 BORROWERS REPAY HOLC LOANS; Liquidated Accounts Totaled $125,634,131 in Agency as of June 30. Impact: This massive repayment led to a brief economic boom, which eventually convinced banks that lending to anyone with a pulse was a good idea. Spoiler alert: It wasn't. Fact: The Home Owners' Loan Corporation was so popular that it made loans seem like candy—everyone wanted a piece, but not everyone could handle the sugar high.
• Headline: TELEVIEWS OF PICTURES. Impact: This application for a television transmitter permit was the catalyst for the future obsession with binge-watching. If only they knew how many hours we’d waste on cat videos!. Fact: In the early days of television, people were so excited about the concept that they thought watching static was a good time. Talk about low standards!.
• Headline: Hughes Tests Plane for Hop. Impact: Howard Hughes's relentless pursuit of aviation perfection eventually led to the modern era of commercial flight, where people endure cramped seats and crying babies in the name of progress. Fact: Howard Hughes was not just a pioneer; he was the original 'fly it like you stole it' type of guy—only he had the money to actually buy the plane.
• Headline: Veterans' Congress Is Postponed. Impact: The postponement of this congress not only delayed important discussions but also highlighted the ongoing struggles of veterans, which would echo through decades of policy neglect and advocacy. Fact: Postponing a veterans' congress is like telling a cat that it can't go outside—everyone knows there will be consequences, just not when they'll hit.