JULY 23, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Borland Printing Co. Expands Operations. Impact: If only Borland Printing had chosen a different building, perhaps the future of print media would have taken a completely different direction—like digital everything, but with more ink stains and fewer trees. Who knows, maybe we'd have never heard of eBooks!. Fact: Fun fact: Printing companies and their dramatic relocations often lead to more paper cuts and existential crises for their employees..
• Headline: Electrical Contractors Support Anti-Trust Inquiry. Impact: This dispute over electrical contracting could have led to a world where everyone just decided to live without electricity altogether. Can you imagine? No more Netflix, no more TikTok, just pure, unfiltered boredom!. Fact: The only thing more shocking than electrical disputes is how many people still can't wire a plug correctly!.
• Headline: NEW ISSUES FROM AFAR; First Girl Scout Meeting in Hungary Commemorated--Bulgarian Series Philippine Provisionals For Soviet Farm Fair Air-Mail Stamps STAMPS TO COMMEMORATE FIRST PRINTING HERE New Portugal Issue The Goethals Photo First-Flight Covers Samoan Covers. Impact: The Girl Scouts in Hungary might have sparked a global cookie craze, leading to an international shortage of Thin Mints—an event that would forever alter snack time as we know it. Beware the cookie-monster uprising!. Fact: Did you know that Girl Scouts have been known to take over the world one cookie at a time? Watch out, world leaders!.
• Headline: North Beach Airport Gets First Tenant As Pan American Airways Begins to Move In. Impact: Pan American Airways moving into North Beach Airport was a major moment that likely led to the rise of airport coffee shops, overpriced sandwiches, and endless delays—thanks, Pan Am, for our modern travel woes!. Fact: Fun fact: Pan Am was once the coolest way to fly—before it became a nostalgic memory and a cautionary tale in airline management..
• Headline: RAIL JOB INSURANCE PAYS FIRST BENEFITS; Federal System Gives $3 a Day Maximum to Eligibles. Impact: The establishment of rail job insurance might have prompted the creation of a whole new genre of sad country songs about train workers. 'I Lost My Job and My Heart to the Railroad Blues' could have been a hit!. Fact: Did you know that railroads have always been the backbone of America? And also a great way to get your train tickets stolen!.
• Headline: 40 POSTS OF LEGION IN MARTIAL PARADE; Join 400 Delegates to Bronx Convention in March With Flags and Bands AWARDS ARE BESTOWED Marked Progress for Year Is Shown in Reading of the Department Reports. Impact: This Legion parade might have sparked a trend for more martial parades, leading to the world's most unnecessary competitive marching bands. Imagine a reality show where bands duel over who has the best synchronized steps!. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more over-the-top than a martial parade is the number of hot dogs consumed during one!.
• Headline: PANAMA CANAL VIEWS; New Stamps Carry 'Before' and 'After' Pictures--other Philatelic Items Olympic Games Stamps A Rumor in Error German Art Semi-Postal. Impact: The release of the new Panama Canal stamps could have inadvertently inspired a whole generation of stamp collectors who would go on to neglect their social lives in pursuit of the ultimate stamp collection. Stamp enthusiasts—the real hipsters of the past!. Fact: Did you know that stamp collecting was once considered a hobby for the elderly? Now it's a competitive sport!.
• Headline: SUMMER CAMP ENDS FOR 108TH INFANTRY; 1,200 Officers and Enlisted Men Paid Off at Camp Smith. Impact: The end of the summer camp for the 108th Infantry may have led to a series of unfortunate outings and awkward reunions. Can you imagine the 'good old days' stories turning into cringe-worthy tales of glory?. Fact: Fun fact: Summer camps for infantry are just like regular camps but with more yelling and fewer s'mores!.
• Headline: FIRES 2 BULLETS IN HEART; Former Postal Employe Ends Life in Home in Bronx. Impact: The tragic suicide of a former postal employee could have ignited discussions about mental health in the workplace, leading to a future where workplaces have 'mandatory fun' days. Because nothing says 'I'm okay' like forced team-building exercises!. Fact: Did you know that postal workers have one of the most stressful jobs? And yet, they still manage to deliver your mail—talk about dedication!.