JULY 17, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Aviation Group Stock Offering Announcement. Impact: This stock offering was the beginning of a series of wildly speculative investments that would eventually lead to the 1929 stock market crash, where people thought they could make money by tossing coins into well-dressed pigs.. Fact: Did you know that the stock market is just a glorified casino for people who prefer suits over slot machines?.
• Headline: New Hospital Breaks Ground in Hempstead. Impact: The groundbreaking for this hospital led to an influx of medical advancements that would eventually result in people living longer... just to complain about their ailments for a few extra decades.. Fact: Fun fact: Hospitals were initially just places for people to hang out and complain until someone came up with the idea of charging them for it..
• Headline: Reboli Triumphs at Coney Island Velodrome. Impact: Reboli's win at the Velodrome sparked a cycling craze that led to thousands of people taking up biking, only to realize that getting stuck in traffic is just as frustrating on two wheels.. Fact: Did you know that bike shorts were invented to help riders feel less awkward about their pedaling butt while looking like they just escaped from a space-themed fashion show?.
• Headline: Stone-Tossing Prank Brings the Arrest Of 5 Philadelphia Society Merrymakers. Impact: This prank led to stricter laws against public mischief, which eventually paved the way for more serious charges against people who throw things, including the occasional poorly thought-out political campaign.. Fact: Did you know that throwing stones at police officers is still a great way to earn a one-way ticket to a very uncomfortable evening in jail?.
• Headline: DORIS MARIE FETT BECOMES ENGAGED; Brooklyn Girl's Betrothal to Charles J. Murphy Is Made Known at Brightwaters. Impact: Doris Marie Fett's engagement started a chain reaction of wedding planning that consumed countless amounts of cake, floral arrangements, and the sanity of everyone involved, leading to the rise of reality TV wedding shows.. Fact: Did you know that engagements are just a long, drawn-out way of saying, 'We decided to annoy each other for life?'.
• Headline: SANITA HILL GETS ITS FIRST SETTLER; Ill Street Sweeper Goes to Former Kahn Estate With His Wife and Children 22 RESERVATIONS IN DAY Flat Rate of $1 a Night a Person Put Into Effect With Special Weekly Charges. Impact: The arrival of the first settler in Sanita Hill would later inspire a series of poorly planned reality shows about people trying to live off the grid... poorly.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Sanitation Department recreation center' is just a euphemism for ‘We have a lot of trash and nowhere to put it.’.
• Headline: Europe; Map Publishers Pause Till Frontiers Settle Down. Impact: The pause in map publishing led to a resurgence in terrible directions and the invention of GPS, which still occasionally leads people into rivers despite its advanced algorithms.. Fact: Did you know that every time you use GPS, a map publisher cries a little? Sorry, cartographers!.
• Headline: Policemen Patrol Beach When Lifeguards Strike. Impact: The police patrolling the beach during a lifeguard strike resulted in a dramatic increase in sunburns and awkward beach rescues, as officers were far less prepared for beach emergencies than they thought.. Fact: Did you know that police officers have a strict no-sunblock policy when patrolling the beach? Just kidding, but imagine how awkward that would be!.
• Headline: ISADORA GANNON ENGAGED; Will Be Married to Edmund J. Roche Jr. on Aug. 19. Impact: Isadora Gannon's engagement set off a wave of societal expectations that would haunt generations of women, convincing them that their worth was tied to their marital status.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more complex than wedding planning is the emotional rollercoaster of being a bridesmaid?.
• Headline: CHURHCHILL BACKING GAINING IN LONDON; Sunday Press Advocates His Inclusion in Government to Keep National Front. Impact: Churchill's growing support in London eventually led to him becoming Prime Minister, a position that would require him to skillfully navigate a nation through World War II, while dodging the occasional bad haircut comment.. Fact: Did you know that Churchill was once voted the UK's most popular politician? The next year, he was voted the one with the worst hairstyle – some things never change!.