JULY 13, 1939

Full News Archive

• Headline: Women Sidestep Trade Pact Issue. Impact: The failure to agree on the trade pact led to the creation of a secret society of women who would eventually invent the post-it note, revolutionizing office communication and passive-aggressive reminders.. Fact: Women sidestepping issues has been a time-honored tradition, especially when chocolate is involved..
• Headline: Gruen Increases Advertising Investment. Impact: Gruen's decision to lift the ad budget caused a ripple effect leading to the invention of the flashy infomercial, which has since hypnotized millions into buying useless kitchen gadgets.. Fact: If only Gruen had known that boosting ad budgets would lead to the dreaded 'As Seen on TV' section in every store..
• Headline: REICH SEEN BACKING A NEW BALKAN BLOC; Plans for a Virtual Alliance of Bulgaria and Yugoslavia Reported Taking Shape NAZI FRIENDSHIP STRESSED Revisionist Agitation Resumed in Sofia Press as Result of Premier's Recent Visits. Impact: Reich's backing of a Balkan bloc sparked a series of poorly planned Balkan-themed parties across Europe, causing many to mistakenly believe Balkan food was the next big culinary trend.. Fact: The only thing more confusing than Balkan politics is trying to pronounce all the local dishes after a few too many drinks..
• Headline: U.S. OIL FIRMS LOSE AGAIN; Mexico Refuses to Bar Sale of Petroleum Already Disposed Of. Impact: The U.S. oil firms' loss paved the way for the rise of independent gas stations, which would later become the preferred pit stop for road trip snacks and unsolicited advice.. Fact: Fun fact: the phrase 'you can’t fight city hall' was actually inspired by a group of oil executives arguing with a very stubborn gas pump..
• Headline: $7,000,000 TO PUERTO RICO; Federal Grant Is Smallest Yet Given Reconstruction Agency. Impact: The smallest federal grant to Puerto Rico prompted locals to become masters of budget optimization, leading to the invention of the 'how to survive on zero dollars' YouTube channel.. Fact: Puerto Ricans are so resourceful that they could probably build a spaceship out of a soda can and some duct tape..
• Headline: In The Nation; The New Role and Past Career of Mr. McNutt. Impact: The commentary on Mr. McNutt's career led to the creation of various reality TV shows focusing on the 'real lives' of politicians, which, spoiler alert, were even more scripted than the average soap opera.. Fact: Mr. McNutt’s past career included a stint as a professional 'whoops, I did it again' expert in political blunders..
• Headline: Many Reserve Corps Officers Are Ordered to Camps. Impact: The order for Reserve Corps Officers to camps led to the eventual formation of weekend warrior clubs, where members would gather to relive their glory days and complain about the good ol’ times.. Fact: The only thing more thrilling than being ordered to camp is the realization that you're just going to be playing bingo with a bunch of other bored officers..
• Headline: URGE PROPAGANDA, ASSAIL CENSORSHIP; Speakers at Virginia Institute Assert Suppression of Ideas Leads to Dictatorship OUR 'GULLIBILITY' IS HIT Government Officials Predict Broad Housing Plan Will Benefit Entire Country. Impact: The push for propaganda over censorship led to a viral trend of creating memes that mocked government officials, ultimately resulting in the rise of the meme as a form of protest.. Fact: Who knew that memes would become the modern-day hieroglyphics for discontent? Welcome to the digital age!.